Jhoot Ek Rang Anek

Jhoot Bolna...
Baccho ke liye PAAP..
Lovers ke liye ART..
Bachelor's ke liye ANIVARYA..
aur married ke liye ka JINE KA MARG

Jhoot Ek Rang Anek...

Pass ho ya Fail

Dad : xams mein pass ho ya fail, tumhe new bike dila dunga..
Son: thanks ..
Dad : pass hua to PULSAR, college jane ke liye ,,,
   FAIL hua to RAJDOOT dudh bechne ke liye ..

Icecream

Girl demanded for Icecream..
boy purchased it,..
Girl: Thank u..
Boy: Only thank u..??
Girl : u want kiss na,,?
Boy: chup kar ... Aadhi Ice cream de... ;)

Film ka Hero

Girl: ladke kaisa hai..?
pandit: Ladka achha hai, Engineering kiya hai, dikhne mein FILM ka hero lagta hai..
Girl: Kaunsi film ka Hero?
..
..
..
..
Pandit: Peepli Live... ;)

Happy Navratri

Maa ki jyoti se noor milta hai,..
sabke dilo ko shurur milta hai,,,
jo bhi jata hai Maa ke dwar..
kuchh na kuchh jaroor milta hai..
JAI MATA DI !!

Yeh Dosti mein... Achha lagta hai

ajib dastan hoti hai dosti ki ladna milne se bhi achha lagta hai..
ladke manane wale bhi hote hai kuchh, to kuchh ki chidana achha lagta hai..
dost ke muh se kuchh sun ne ke liye kabhi jhuk jana bhi achha lagta hai..
safar train ka ho ya jindagi ka, khatanm hi nahi hoti batein, phir bhi khamosh rahkar muskarana achha lagta hai..
4 dosto mein lagta hai mil gayi poori dunia, baki sab bhool jana achha lagta hai,,
yaro hamesha sath rahna , tumara ye yarana bahut achha lagta hai....

Happy diwali

With Glitter of lights and the echo of the chants,
May happiness and contenment fill ur life...
Wishing u a very happy diwali...

Hathi and Chinti

Hathi swimming pool mein gira to sab chitiya bahar nikal gayi..
1 chiti hathi ke pet par chad gayi..
dusri boli: Duba sale ko ladkiyo ko chhedta hai...

Youths

youth now a days are getting worst..
I was in temple, when a guy next to me lit a cigaratte from the aarti..
I was shocked n dropped my Beer bootle..

Wise saying

Wise saying..
if u dont succeed in first try...
then erase the proof tht u evr tried..
self respect bhi koi cheej hoti hai..

Break Up Tip

"Breakup tip"
how 2 create d biggest doubt in ur lover's mind 4 urself!!?
Very Simple..
just suddenly msg dem ..
"I luv u too"..
Game over..

Stress Test

Stress test:
1> Which mouse has 2 legs?


Mickey mouse..


2> Which Duck has 2 legs?


If ur ans is Donald Duck, then dude U r under stress,
coz every duck hav 2 legs..

love

Earlier
luv started with eyes, grew with gifts,and ended with tears...
Now...
Luv starts 4m Cellphone, grows with msgs & ends wid
"D customer u r calling is busy on anodr call.."

CID

CID Joke..
Usse pyar mat karo koi hope nahi hai.. Wah wah..
Usse pyar mat karo koi hope nahi hai..
Popat banaya tere ko, Yeh CID wala joke nahi hai,...

mohabbat

Zindagi itni tanha kyun hoti hai..
Sabko kismat se sikayat kyun hoti hai..
yeh kismat bhi ajib khel khelti hai...
jise pana hai mushkil, mohabbat usi se kyun hoti hai..

Santa and Photo

Santa rishte ki liye photo khichwa raha tha,
Pichhe ek gadha bhi tasweer mein aa gaya,
Santa ne likhkar bheja: "IAM ON RIGHT SIDE" ;)

Office mein sher

Santa: Tu office mein sher bankar ghumta hai to ghar mein kya ho jata hai..
Banta: Sher to main ghar mien bhi rahta hu bas upar "Durga Mata" Sawar ho jati hain... :)

Cup of sugar

The door bell rings.Banta's wife opened the door....
Santa: Good morning aunt.Mummy has asked for a cup of sugar.
Banta's Wife: ok.what else did she say?
Santa: If that stupid,selfish doesn't give get it from Sweety aunt.

pocket calculator

Shopkeeper: sir, Do u want a POCKET CALCULATOR.?
Santa: No thanks. I know how many pockets I have..!

Height of technical overdose

A computer software engineer, falling from the roof of a building shouts..
....... F1 F1  F1 f1...instead of help help...

Student Teacher

Science teacher: agar koi ladki behosh ho jaye to usko kiss karo turant hosh mein aa jayegi
Student: sir, magar usko behosh kaise kiya jaye??

Height of escapism

prof: whr is ur assignment??
student: sir, I lost it while fighting with students who said that
you were not the best prof in college....

Always remember

Always remember...
when he cancels a date it's because " he has to" but when she cancels a date
it's b'coz " she has two"..

yehi hai dosti

rabba dukh na dena mere is dost ko...chahe mujhe sukhon ka pahad dede..
nayi cycle par ghoome dost mera, mujhe bhale hi purani honda city car dila de..

Dosti

dosti phool se karoge to mehak jaoge..sawan se karoge to bheeg jaoge..
suraj se karoge to ja jaoge..
* Hum * se karoge to sudhar jaoge..

Importance of kiss

Kiss is a key of love, love is a lock of marriage, marriage is a box of childrens
childrens are future of india, so start kissing and develop India.

Santa Again

A man jumped in water, n didn't returned, after that another man jumped in water
n was also not seen... A santa watching all this, concluded that....

"Human beings are soluble in water..."

Meaning of friendship

A 5yr old boy asked his friend : what is friendship?
She replied: friendship is wen u rob my chocolates everyday frm my bag
& I still keep it in d same place.

Smoking

Train mein ek larke ne cigarete jalai, to pas mein baithe aadmi ne usse kaha : Cigarete
ke dhuwaein se meri tabiyat kharab hone lagti hai...
larka bola: To phir ap smoking kyun karte hain..

Teri judai

Boy:: teri judai mein neend udati hai chain khota hai, jan jati hai dil rota hai,
kuchh -kuchh hota hai.....
Girl: Dr. ko dikha lo, swine flu aise hi hota hai...!!!

maths teacher to santa

teacher: how can you distribute 8 apples among 6 people equally??

Santa: juice banake de do madam...

santa's theory

moon is more important than sun because it gives light at night when light is needed
& SUN gives light during day when light is not needed..

premi to premika

premi to premika : Darling, mujhe tumari ankhon me sari duniya dikhai deti hai..
pichhe se ek buddha bola : hamari gaiya nahi mil rahi.. dikhe to batana..

importance of 1

1 stone is enough to break a glass..
1 sentence is enough 2 break a heart ..
1 second is enough is 2 fall in love and
1 sms is enough is 2 keep relations in touch..

killing an ant

Que. how to kill an ant ? asked in exam for 8 marks..
Student: Mix chilli powder with sugar & keep it outside the ant;s home..
after eating ant will search 4 water.. !
somewhere near water tank push ant into it..!
now ant will go 2 dry herself near fire..!
when it reaches near fire put a bomb into fire ..
then admit wounded ANT in ICU and remove oxygen mask
from it's mouth & kill the ant!!! :) :)
Humse panga , 8 marks ke liye khud ko mar de chiti kya chij hai!!
 haha haha ..:)

Happy independence day

Freedom in mind, faith in words..
Pride in our souls, Let's salute nation on Independence day!!

Happy engineers day

we are cheaters, but don't cheat manners!
we hate study, but love technology!
we flirt with flirters, but love lovers!
we don't have books in hand, but have revolutionary ideas in mind!
world can't change us, but WE CAN CHANGE THE WHOLE WORLD!!
 Meet us ...

We are ENGINEERS...
HAPPY ENGINEERS DAY!!! :)

engineers day!!

When I was kid I used to say: " main bada hoke engineer banunga"... At that time I was proud and parents were in tension ...
& now they are proud and I am in tension after becoming engg..
Happy engineers Day!!

Red Tomato

Q. Why did the tomato turn red?
A. It saw the salad dressing!

Happy Birthday Wishes

Shadow of yesterday have faded away

Sun has reappeared it’s a brand new day

Birds singing their song loud & clear

Announcing to the world a new day is here

Wishing you contentment and peace along the way

Happy Birthday !!

mitti ko angreji mein kehta hai clay..
Dhyan dijiye..
mitti ko angreji mein kehta hai clay..

Let's the music play...!!

FISH

What do you call a fish without an Eye..






.
,
,

F_SH :)

Tera deedar

Jab Jab Hota hai tera deedar, Dil dharakta hai baar baar.........
Jab Jab Hota hai tera deedar, Dil dharakta hai baar baar.........

Kyonki adat se majboor ho tum, JAANE KAB MAANG LO UDHAAR........

MAATHE PAR LAHU ......SIR PAR REIT......

MAATHE PAR LAHU ......SIR PAR REIT...... WAH WAH

..kyoki ladki ne phool maara ---  GAMLE SAMET.....

woh subah ki thandak...

woh taulliye ki khushbu........

woh shampoo ki bottle.....

woh dhuley hue kapron ka sukoon..


tum kya jaano............

YE TO SIRF NAHANE WALE JAANTE HAI........

Santa in hotel

Santa : Mai yaha nahi rahunga. Mere paise wapas karo. Itana chota Hotel Room maine pahle kabhi nahi dekha. Aur room mai sirf ek stool !! Mujhe kya jaanwar samajh rakha hai ?

Waiter : Sir, Relax !! Room mai to chaliye . Ye to LIFT hai ...

CID PJ

tere pyar ka saya mujh par aysa chaya

wah wah
...
tere pyar ka saya mujh par aysa chaya

acp bola:
daya zara bandhuk pakadna mai su su kar k aya

Killer PJ

Aapki iss smile ne sara jahan hila diya,
Aapki iss smile ne sara jahan hila diya,
Koma se jage mariz ko, dara ke phir se sula diya

Santa and Doctor

Santa said to doctor: Poore jism main kahin bhi ungli lagao to bahut dard hota hai,
Doctor suggested full body Xray...
when he checked Xray, he found fracture in “Ungli”.

Santa and Englishman

A ship was sinking.
An englishman asked Santa, "How far is land"?
Santa: 2 KMs.
Englishman jumped into sea.
Englishman: Now, which direction?
Santa: Downwards!

Sardar and Teacher

Sir: What is difference between Orange and Apple?
Sardar: Color of Orange is orange, but color of Apple is not APPLE.

sardar and miss

Sardar: Miss, Did u call me on my mobile?
Teacher: Me? No, why?
Sardar: Yesterday I saw in my mobile- 1 Miss Call".

Girl is deaf

Sardar: I think that girl is deaf..
Friend: How do u know?
Sardar: I told I Love her, but she said her chappals are new !!

Student Teacher

Principal to students: You should sleep 7 hours a day...
Student: But sir college is for only 6 hours.. :)

Funny Insult

Roses are Red, Violets are Blue..
Monkey like you should be kept in Zoo..

Don't feel so angry, you'll find me there too,
Not in cage, but outside laughing at you... :) :)

husband wife

What is the next thing a husband has to do after winning arguments with his wife???


Apologize... :)

Shadi ka asar

abhi shaadi ka pehla hi saal tha,
khushi ke maare mera bura haal tha,

khushiyaan kuch yoon umad rahin thi,
ki sambhale nahi sambhal rahi thi,
subah subah madam ka chai le kar aana
thoda sharmate hue hume need se jagana,
wo pyaar bhara hath humare ballon main phirana,
muskurate hue kehna ki darling chai to pi lo,
jaldi se ready ho jao, aap ko office bhi hai jana.
gharwali bhagwan ka roop le kar aayi thi,
dil or dimag par poori tarah chai thi,
saans bhi lete thy to naam usi ka hota tha,
ik pal bhi door jeena dushwar hota tha.
 

5 saal baad…….

subah subah madam ka chai le kar aana,
table par rakh kar jor se chilana,
aaj office jao to munna ko
school chodte hue jana…………..
ek baar phir wohi awaaj ayi,
kya baat hai abhi tak chodi nahi charpai,

agar munna late ho gaya to dekh lena,
munna ki teachers ko phir khud hi sambhaal lena.
na jane gharwali kaisa roop le kar aayi thi,
dil aur dimaag par kali ghata chai thi,
sans bhi lete hai to uni ka khayal hota hai,
har samay jehan main ek hi sawal hota hai,
kya kabhi wo din lot ke ayenge,
hum ek bar phir kuwaaren ban payenge

Bachelors life ka utha lo ab to MAJA!
Warna pata nahi Kab shadi ban jaye ek SAJA !!!

Student Teacher

Teacher: What do you call a person who keeps on talking when
people are no longer interested?
Student: A teacher.

Gujju Joke

Q :- Why won’t the gujju jeweller sell anything to the UP ka bhayiya?
A :- The bhayiya kept giving gujju a bunch of hair each time the gujju asked for ‘Kesh’

Keemti cheez

U tho hum kisi ka picha nahi karte,
darde dil diya or liya nahi karte,
ittfak ki baat hai ye dil tujh par aagya,
warna itne keemti cheez kisi ko diya nahi karte

Mere Honton ke mehaktay hue naghmo par na ja
Mere seenay main kaye aur bhi ghum paltay hain
Mere chehray par dikhaway ka tabassum hai magar
Meri aankhon main udaasi kay diye jalte hain

Dead fly in food

A man shouted server for he found a dead fly in his food.

server calmely said sir, 'See! Your chiken fry has dead chiken,your fish fry has dead fish.

 when you are accepting all these things why you are shouting for a small dead fly?" :)

Visitor and Peon

A visitor came to an office and before entering into the manager's cabin,
he asked the peon who sat near the enterance,
"Is there anybody inside?"
Peon told 'yes'.
Visitor waited for half an hour no person coming out of the room
and asked the peon 'Hare! who is inside?'
Peon calmely said 'Who! manager only"!!

Where is Africa?

Father:Ram! what have you studied in school this day?
Son: Dad! Teacher asked me 'where is Africa?'
Father:Oh!silly!Are they searching the africa still? My teacher also asked the same question in my schooldays!

Where is amerika??

Teacher: Hari, Tell me where is america?
Hari: I dont know teacher!
Teacher:Stand up on the bench
Hari:(after standing on the Bench)Teacher from here also I dont know!

Any Great man

One Tourist From USA asked 2 Indian-Any great man born in this village?
Man-No sir,Only small babies.

AASMA PAR HONGE TOW BHI LAUT KAR AAYENGE

EHSAAS BAHUT HOGA JAB CHOR KE JAYENGE
ROENGE BAHUT MAGAR AANSOO NAHI AAYENGE
JAB SAATH KOI NA DE TOW AWAAZ HAME DENA
AASMA PAR HONGE TOW BHI LAUT KAR AAYENGE

Sirf paane ka matlab pyar nahi hota

Har khamoshi ka matlab inkaar nahi hota,
Har nakamyabi ka matlab haar nahi hota.
Toh kya huwa agar hum tume na pasake,
Sirf paane ka matlab pyar nahi hota.

Phhol ki kahani

Har phool ki ajab kahani hai,
Chup rehna bhi pyar ki nishani hai,
Kahi koi zakhm nahi phir bhi kyu yeh ehsas hai,
Lagta hai dil ka ek tukda aj bhi us ke paas hai.

Khuda bachaye hume in hasino se

Khuda bachaye hume in hasino se,

Khuda bachaye hume in hasino se,

Lekin in hasino ko kaun bachayega..

hum KAMINO Se  :) Wah wah!!

Santa

Santa office jane k liye car nikalne jata he to dekhta he...
Ek kutta car k niche so rha tha...

To kutte ko zor se bahar kheecha Aur Bola : "Bahar nikal sale .Bada aaya..
'AUTOMOBILE ENGINEER..'"

Khane mein kya banaye

Pati- Aaj khaane mei kya banaogi ?
Bivi- Jo tum kaho.

Pati- Daal-chawal bana lo.
Bivi- Abhi kal hi to khaye the....
...
Pati- To Sabji bana lo.
Bivi- Bacche nahi khate.

Pati- Fir keema.
Bivi- Mujhe allergy hai.

Pati- Paranthe ?
Bivi- Raat ko paranthe kaun khata hai ?

Pati- Kadhi ?
Bivi- Dahi nahi hai.

Pati- Fir kya banaogi ?
Bivi- Jo tum kaho....!!!

Killer PJ

uska pyar mujhe sata raha hai...
wah
wah...
...uska pyar mujhe sata raha hai...
..
..
abey cigerate chupa tera baap aa raha hai...

Hapy Diwali

Roshan ho deepak sara jag jagmagaye,
liye sath Sita maiyya ko Ram jee hain aaye,
har shahar yu lage mano Ayodhya ho,
aao har dwar har gali har mod pe hum deep jalaye 
Happy Diwali, Happy Dashahara!!

Pyar

Pyar to zindgi ka ek khubsurat lamha hai,
ye sab rishto se albela hai,
jise ye mil jaye wo tanhai me bhi khush hai,
aur jise na mile wo bhid me bhi akela hai

Friendship

Waqt ke panno ko palat kar kuch yaad aata hai,
wo gujra kal jaise Dll chahta hai,
Kabi bitaye the lamhe sath milkar,
aaj un Dosto ko dekhne ko Dil taras jata hai

Friendship

Socha na tha ki kabhi Dosti hogi,
Dil jiske liye ro sake waisi ulfat hogi,
ab jannat ki galiyon ka rasta kyu dekhu....
Jaha tum ho wahi se jannat suru hogi...

Ma se rishta

Maa se rishtaa aisaa banaya jaay,
Jisko nigaaho mein bithayaa jaay,
Rahe uska mera rishtaa kuchch aisa,
Wo agar udas ho to humse bhi muskraya na jae.

Maa tujhe salam

Maa hai mohabbat ka nam,
Maa ko hazaron salam,
Karday fidaa zindgi,
Aae jo bachchon ke kaam!!

Happy Mother's Day

A mother’s work is never done ...
She works from morning till dawn
She spreads her love And always keeps you warm
But only once in a year we say Mother we wish you  
“Happy Mothers Day”

Sardar applied for divorce

Sardar & his wife filed an application for divorce.
Judge asked: How will you divide, you have three children?
Sardar replied to Judge : Ok! We will apply next year.

EiD SMS

Yun Aaine se kab tak Dil behlao ge
Jab koi nahin hoga to Khud ko Tanha paoge,

Choti EID to chalo guzar gayi lekin
Wada karo Bari EID pe zaroor Nahao ge

Apki shan

Chand taron se achi ho apki muskan,
Aeroplne se unchi ho apki udan,
Hume bhi apse apointment leni pade,
Aisi anokhi ho apki shan. :) :)


Happy Birthday!!

Birthday Wishes

Jab Apka janam hua
Baadal fata Adbhoot roshni hui,
Bhagwaan khud sab k saamne prakat hue aur bole -

"Sorry 4 Da Mistake.. Kindly Adjust PLZ"

Birthday Wish

Apko ashirwad mile bado se,
Sahayog mile chhoto se,
Khushiya mile jag se,
Pyar mile sab se,
Yahi dua hai meri Rab se!

Happy Birthday !!

Birthday Wish

Tamnnaon se bhari ho jindgi,
Kwahisho se bhara ho har pal,
Daaman bhi chhota lagne lage,
Itani khushiya de aapko aane wala kal.


Happy Birthday!!  

rishta banaya hai

Rishta banaya hai to nibhayenge,
har pal apko hansayenge,
pata hai apko to fursat nahi yaad karne ki,
hum hi msg karke apne yaad dilayenge.

Discovery on Moon

"Apart from water we have discovered presence of whales and shark also on MOON" -- PAK
"Space shuttle launched by Pak found in Arabian Sea" -- NASA

Diamond Necklace

Wife – Darling, Last night In my Dream , You were Buying a Diamond Necklace for Me…
Husband – Darling tonight Go to Sleep and Enjoy Wearing It.!.

You are the NEXT !!

Ek Ladki apni friends se kahti hai:
Jab Bhi mein kisi marriage mein jati hun, sari Old ladies mujhe kehti hain "you are next" !!
But now they have stopped this, since I started saying same tto them @ Funerals. !!

Performance Appraisal

The owner of a company tells his employees:
You all worked very hard this year. The company’s profits has increased dramatically.
As a reward, I ‘ll give everyone a check for Rs 5000.

If you work with the same zeal next year, I’ll sign those checks. :)

Lord's Birth Place

In a train, ticket checker to a saint: Ticket please!
Saint: I don't have.
TT: Where do you want to go?
Saint: Lord Ram's birth place, Ayodhya!
TT: Come, lets go!
Saint: Where?
TT: Lord Krishna'a birth place, Jail

Good Morning

Do you know the meaning of morning?
Morning means one More innings given by GOD to
PLAY and WIN what you missed yesterday... So Good Morning!!

Hai re Dahej !!

Machhar ne ek admi ko kata, admi: Din mein bhi kat rahe ho...
Machhar : kya karun, ghar mein maa-baap bimar hain, bahan jawan hai..
Ladke walon ne 1 ltr khoon dahej mein manga hai...

Help him !!!

Ek bar ek Chhota bachha kood kood kar ek ghar ki doorbell bajane ki
koshish kar raha tha but baja nahi pa raha tha..
tab ek buddhe uncle ne aake doorbell baja di..
phir uncle ne poochha : Beta aur kuchh?
Bachcha : han ab bhagoooooo!! :)

Proposing a Girl

Easy way to purpose a girl,

Me : Hi what is your name?

Girl : Ann .

Me : Hey your name seems so small ,
shall I add my name after yours ??

doctor and patient

Patient to Doctor: Aapne nurse bahut achhi rakhi hui hai,
                            uska haath lagte hi main Ekdum theek ho gaya.
Doctor: Jaanta hu, thappad ki awaaz mujhe bhi sunai di thi... :)

Santa and swimming pool

santabuilt 2 Swimming Pools. And he left one of them unfilled .. u know why?
When asked him, he said,
"Oye, thats for those who don't know Swimming" :)

Student Teacher

Maths Teacher: Jab mein tumhare jitna bada tha, mere maths mein 100 marks ate the..
Student: Sir, Apko koi achha teacher padhata hoga.. !! :) :)

Indian Flag

Ek sardar Indian Flag lene shop mein gaya tha. 
Shopwale ne usse flag diya. 
Sardar bola: Isme aur colour dikhao!!! 

Mobile bill

Pappu: My mobile bill how much?
Call centre girl: sir, just dial 123 to know current bill status
Pappu: Stupid, not CURRENT BILL my MOBILE BILL.

Santa Professor

Once Santa professor asked a plumber to come to his college.
U know why?
Because he wanted to check from where the question paper is leaking...

doctor and patient

Doctor to Molu patient: You will die within 2 hours. Do you want to see any one before you die?
Molu: Yes. A good doctor.

ladki ko propose karne ki sab se safe jagah

Santa, oye bante, ladki ko propose karne ki sab se safe jagah kon si ho sakti hai?
Banta, mandir,
Santa, vo kaise?
Banta, kyounki waha ladki ke pairon me chhapal nahin hoti.

Shayri

Badi muddat se chaha hai tumhe, Badi duaaon se paya hai tumhe...
Thuje bhulane ka sochu bhi kaise, Kismat ki lakiroon se churaya hai tumhe

Miss you

Ajeeb si kashish hai aap me, ki hum aap k khayalon me khoye rehte hai ....
Ye soch kar k aap khawabo me aaoge, hum din me bhi soya karte hai.

Dariya Wafao ka

Darya wafao ka kabhi rukta nahi.....
Mohabbat me insaan kabhi jhukta nahi.....
Hum chup hain kisi ki khushi ke liye.....
aur wo sochte hain dil hamara dukhta nahi....!!

Love story

Ek Ladka Ek Ladki Se Har Roj Bus Stop Pe Kehta Tha , "E Janaseen Parda Utha Meri Mohhabat Kabul Kar Jalwa Dikha".

Ladka Har Roj Kehta Tha Par Ladki Kuch Kahe Bina Hi Chali Jati Thi,

Ek Din Woh Ladka Nai Aya, To Ladki Ne Uske Dosto Se Puchha To Pata Chala Ki Woh Mar Gaya Hai,

To Use Dukh Hua Aur Uski Kabar Pe Jakar Kehti Hai,

letter from a sardarji mother to his son at school ...

Pyaarey Puttar,
Vahe Guru. I am writing this letter slow because I
know you can't read fast. We don't live where we
did when you left home. Your dad read in the
newspaper that most accidents happen 20 miles
from your home, so we moved! I won't be able to
give you the address as the last sardar who stayed
in this house took the numbers with them for their
next house, so they wouldnt have to change their
address.
This place is really nice. It even has a washing
machine. I'm not sure it works too well, last week
I put in three shirts and pulled the chain and I
HAVE NOT SEEN THEM SINCE.

Maa Ki Dua

Maa ki ek dua zindagi bana degi,
khud royegi magar aapko hasaa degi,
kabi bhool kar bhi maa ko na rulana,
ek choti si badDua pura arsh hila degi

Salma ke pyaar me doob gaya Peter

Gaur farmaiye

Salma ke pyaar me doob gaya Peter
.
.
.
Ab hero Honda splendor 80 kilometer prati leter

Kana Ladka

Ek Kana Ladka Kisi ladki ko Propose kare to kaun sa gana Gayega???????
???????????????


Ek Nazar se bhi Pyar Hota hai Maine suna Hai............

Romie ne Juliet se kaha

Romio ne juliet se  kaha ek sach

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Romio ne juliet se  kaha ek sach

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.Asali masale sach sach

 MDH.....MDH ...!

Yashomati Maiya se Bole nand lala

Yashomati Maiyya Se Bole Nandlala ...

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Waah! Waah!

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Yashomati Maiyya Se Bole Nandlala ...

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"Maa, Tata Sky Laga Daala To Life Jhingalala ..!!"

PJ

Arz kiya hai…

Baith kar girlfriend ki Zulfon ke saaye mai aisa josh aaya…

Wah-Wah, Wah-Wah…

Baith kar girlfriend ki Zulfon ke saaye mai aisa josh aaya…

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Ki   Uske papa ne dekh liya aur ICU mai hosh aaya…

Shayri PJ

Arz kiya hai…

Kal tak thee jo meri present…

Kal tak thee jo meri present…

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Aaj ho gayee hai past…

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Kal tak thee jo meri present…

Aaj ho gayee hai past…

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Offer valid till stocks last..  :-)

PJ on AD

mein hoon yahan tu hai wahan...

mein hoon yahan tu hai wahan..

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LIFEBUOY hai jahan tandurusti hai wahan...

Filmy PJ

Akbar ne kharide 3-3 ghode..

Akbar ne kharide 3-3 ghode..

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aja aja dil nichode ....

raat ki matki phode...

PJ

woh mujhe chod ke chali gayi usse pana mein chahun....

woh mujhe chod ke chali gayi usse pana mein chahun....

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ahun ahun ahun

ahun ahun ahun

Latest PJ

Agar dava chahiyetoh dhundo koi chemist....

Agar dava chahiyetoh dhundo koi chemist....

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My NAME IS KHAN and I AM NOT A TERRORIST...

Deadly PJ

Tumse pyaar karte karte hamne kar diya crime....

Tumse pyaar karte karte hamne kar diya crime....
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." 1 is neither composite nor prime"

Horror movies of IT Sector

Deadline

Wo Akhri Mail………………

Masoom Coder- A Life in trouble

9 Ghante 15 Minute

Ichadhari Bug

Prod Release ki Raat

Do Hazar Code Ke Neeche

REGRESSION - RELOADED

0 Bug – Mano ya na Mano…………….!!!

I know what you CODED last summer

Adam khor developer

I still know what you CODED last summer

Coding- The mystery continues…

Darinda manager, tadapta developer ... !!!!

Andha code … !!!

Gayab coder – A murder mystery.. !!!

Zahreela food court .. !!!

Recession – Jaani dushman

--- Appraisal Ki Pyaas
--- Badla Developer Ka
--- Tester Bana Shaitaan
--- Manager ki Cheekh
---Client Ka Qaher!!!!!!!! !!!
---Viraana Cubicle!!!!!! !!!!!!!

Last but not the least
............ ......... ......... ......... ........
............ ......... ......... ......... .........

Khooni Client Call

Enginner's Day

You can be a Doctor and save lives…
You can be a Lawyer and defend lives…
You can be a Soldier and protect lives…

But why play with others’ lives???

So we simply became engineers to screw up our own lives;
HAPPY ENGINEER'S DAY!! [:)]

Mohabbat ki shama

Mohabbat ki shamma jalake to dekho,
Zara dil ki duniya saja kar to dekho,
Tumhe ho na jaaye mohabbat to kehna,
Zara humse nazaren milake to dekho.

Happy Married life

Life bestows love’s blessing,
On a very special few.
And I believe it happened,
When life encountered you.
You are a perfect couple,
In a marriage that is blessed;
May your love shine like a beacon,
A guide for all the rest.

Romantic Marriage wishes

Your marriage is a beautiful celebration of your love and commitment to each other...
May your happiness together grow deeper, your friendship stronger,
and your romance sweeter through all the days and years of your life....

Lovely Birthday

Lovely msg for a Lovely Person
from Lovely Friend
For a Lovely Reason
at a Lovely Time
from a Lovely Mind
in a Lovely Mood
in a Lovely Style
to wish you
Have a Lovely Birthday

Happy April fool day...

I am Sure you've received a lot of silly
APRIL Fool's Day cards trying to trick you..
BUT You are far too cute and smart to fall for any of that..!!!

If you agree, please press theF13 Key
on your keyboard now...

kanjoos

master: kanjoos bole to kaun?
st: hum chahe jitne bhi 'sms' kare uska 'reply' jo na kare vo..
master: uska ek example do,..
st: apki beti..

SMS of the yr 2010

wo mujhse meri GF ka pata poochhta hai..
kitna pagal hai apne hi ghar ka pata puchhta hai..

kisi din teri nazro se dur

kisi din teri nazro se dur ho jayenge hum..
dur fizaon mein kahin kho jayenge hum..
meri yadon se lipat kar rone aoge tum..
jab zamin ko odh k so jayenge hum..

Murjha Jate hai phool

Murjha Jate hai phool par bahar wahi hai,
badal jate hain mausam par dinwahi hai..
mana ki bichhar jaten hai log par aankho me intjar wahi hai..

Kabhi kabhi

Kabhi kabhi...
..
mere dil mein khyal aata hai..
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Kya dhoondh rahe ho..??
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AAJ  nahi aaya
Kaha na !! Kabhi kabhi hi aata hai..

Late kyu ho?

Teacher: Late kyu ho? School 8 baje suru hota hai..
Boy: ap meri fikar na kiya karo, school suru kar liya karo..

Govt. school ke bachche kisi ko ghaseet ke school le ja rahe the..
Bujurg: isko chhor do ye khud schhol aayega..
Boy: Ye student nahi school ka master hai..

Machhar mara

Maa- aj school se inti jaldi kaise aa gaye..
Golu: Machhar mara to teacher ne chhutti de di.
Ma: Aisa kyu?
Golu: Machhar teacher ke Gaal par baitha tha..

Characterless!! ;)

ajkal ladkiyon ke DRESS
kabhi yahan se Less...
Kabhi wahan se Less..
Kabhi Sleeveless to..
Kabhi Backless.. aur
koi ladka ghoor kar dekhe to
"Kutta Kamina Sala Characterless..!! "

Sardar's Promotion

Sardar got promotion from clerk to manager..
He went home & told his wife, in new style..
Wife behosh!!!!
..
..
Aisa kya bola..
..
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Tu aj rat se MANAGER K sath soyegi..

Love letter by a brilliant maths student

A Love letter by a brilliant maths student to his GF..
My sweet 'straight line', yesterday I was passing by ur 'rectangular' house in
'trigonometric' lane ..
There my eyes with 'positive slope' felt 'orthogonally' on ur cute 'circular' face', 'canonical nose' & 'spherical' eyes.
Before seeing u my heart was a 'null set', but when a 'vector' from ur eyes at deviation of
'theta radians' made a 'tangent' to my heart, I got differentiated.
My luv 4 u is 'quadratic eqn' with 'real roots'.  Now you can only 'integrate' me back to my life..  with my love 'tending to infinity' Hence proved..

U r good

Life is small, live it!!
If anger is injurious dump it!!
Troubles are momentary, Face it !!
memories are sweet, cherish it..!
U r good I agree, but I am too good acept it..

"Ande" ki Qeemat

Golu: Hamara beta nalayak hai hamesha test mein anda lata hai..
wife tum kya jano "Ande" ki Qeemat.. pata hai aajkal 50 rs ke darjan milte hain..

bapu ne bola hai..

"Agar koi tumhari salary na increase kare, tumhe promotion na de,

tum kam karte raho....

sirf kam hi nehi zada kam karo......

Promotion ki ummed na karo.......

Dekhna, Uski aatma ek din jaroor jaagegi.

Aur vo tumhe salary hike aur promotion zaroor dega"

Aur agar fir bhi koi salary hike aur promotion nahi mile,

To uske paas jana, use ek Guldasta dena.... aur kehna.......

I am resigning; others will also do the same

if u don’t ,,,,,

GET  WELL SOON  MAMU

pappu pass ho gaya

School mein ishq ka naya mahaul taiyar ho gaya..
class ki teacher ko pappu se pyar ho gaya..
is bat se sari class ka dil udas ho gaya..
sari class fail... aur...
pappu pass ho gaya..

apke hi charche

apke hi charche har gali mein hain..
har ladki ke dil mein apke liye pyar hai..
ye koi chamatkar nahi time hi aisa hai..
kyunki kuchh hi dino mein rakhi ka tyohar hai..

tumhare liye

Mein tumhare liye sab kuchh karta..
magar mujhe kam tha..
mein tumhare liye doob ke marta..
magar mujhe jukham tha..!!

dosti

har khushi dil ke karib nahi hoti..
Jindagi gamon se door nahi hoti..
Ae dost,dosti sanjokar rakhna..
dosti har kisi ko nasib nahi hoti..

tumhare khyalon mein

Jab khamosh ankhon se bat hoti hai..
aise hi mohabbat ki shurauat hoti hai..
Tumhare hi khyalon mein khoye rahte hain..
pata nahi kab din aur kab rat hoti hai..

dreaming

If dreaming is the only way to be with you,
Then Ill never open my eyes..

Dreaming of you

I went to sleep last night with a smile because I knew
I'd be dreaming of you...
But I woke up this morning with a smile because you weren't a dream

Happy Holi

Holi tyohar hai Rang aur Bhaang ka

Hum sab yaaron ka

Ghar mein aaye mehmano ka

Gali mein gali walon ka

Mohalle mein mahoul waalo ka

Desh mein deshwalo ka.

Boora naa maano Holi hai Holi hai bhai Holi hai!

PJ

Ae mere desh ke sachche veeron!!
Ae mere desh ke sachche veeron!!
"1/X" is not defined when "X" is equal to zero!!

dost kabhi bewafa nahi hota

Dil se Dil zuda nahi hota, wo kisi aur par fida nahi hota,

Pyar se bara to dosti ka rista hai, kyonki dost kabhi bewafa nahi hota..

Pata nahi is desh ka kya hoga..

gandhiji chale gaye, nehruji bhi chale gaye..
Bhagat singh bhi nahin rahe,
meri bhi tabiyat thik nahi rahti.
Pata nahi is desh ka kya hoga..

God and pappu

God 2 Pappu: Kya chahiye?

Pappu:  Paiso se bhara bag,job,  & 1 badi si gadi Jisme khub sari ladkiya ho..

God:  Tathastu..

Aaj Pappu grls college bus mein conductor hai..

shayri

Beh na saki wo askon ki dhara jo aankhon se behni thi..

Chaha tha uska pallu pakad ke roye, Par kambakht ne us din

Jenas T shirt pehni thi...

Gaon mein filmwale

Beti:Maa ,Gaon mein filmwale aye hain..

Maa: Andar aaja..Inki niyat bahut kharab hoti hai..

Beti: Maa abhishek or John aaye hain..

Maa: to apne bhai ko bhi andar le aa..

Teacher and pappu

Teacher: Tum bade ho kar kya karoge

Pappu: Shadi..

Teacher: Nahi mera matlab hai kya banoge?

Pappu: Dulha !!

Tchr: ohhoo, I mean bade hokar hasil kya karoge??
Pappu: Dulhan..!! :)

Teacher: IDIOT mera matlab bade ho kar mummy papa k liye kya karoge?

Student- Bahu laaunga

Teacher: stupid tumhare papa tumse kya chahte hai?

Student: Pota

Teacher: he bhagwan, tumari zindagi ka kya maksad hai?

Student: hum do humare do, jab tak teesra na ho......!!!!!

EK GF chahiye

bhakt: GOD, mein papi hu..mujhe dard de dukh de mujhe barbad kar de..

Tension de mera jina haram kar de..

GOD: Bevakuf, Ek line mein boltujhe gorlfriend chahiye..

What is SMS

What is SMS?
S-Sala M-Muft ka S-Sirdard
na kro to log sochte hai
kanjoos aur agar karo to
sochte hain khali baitha hai..
kuchh kam nahi hai..
Kare to kya kare...

Khuda na kare

khuda na kare apko koi gum mile...

khushiya aur hasi apko sada mile..

Jab bhi gum apki taraf aye..

Khuda kare raste mein use hum mile..

Funny Definitions in today's world

Life Insurance: A contract that keeps you poor all your life so that you can die Rich.

Nurse: A person who wakes you up to give you sleeping pills.

Tears: The hydraulic force by which masculine willpower is defeated by feminine water power.

Conference: The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present

Conference Room: A place where everybody talks, nobody listens and everybody disagrees later on.

Boss: Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early.

Office: A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life.

Experience: The name men give to their mistakes

Killer PJ

How would u calculate volume of a person whos memory is lost???? Think....... . . its 1/3(pi*r*r*h) do u know why............. . . . . . . b'coz he repeatively says,"mein CONE hun???"

Kash tum bakri hote!!

Kash tum bakri hote!! Mein tumhe ghaas khilata aur pyar se tumhara seeng hilata... aur poochhta pagal kaun ? tum ya mein.. aur tum pyar se bolte... Mein mein mein....

Murga Murgi

Murga: I Love you..

Murgi: Hahaha

Murga: Mein tere liye kuchh bhi kar sakta hu..

Murgi: Really..

Murga: Yes sachhi...

Murgi: Chal anda de ke dikha..

Friend in different languages

Friend in different languages:
Iranian - Dost
German - FREUND
Hrebew - CHAVER
French -AMI
Dutch - VREND
Mexican -AMIGO
For me : Only You..

new year

Khuda kare ye saal apko ras aa jaye...
jise aap chahte ho wo apke paas aa jaye..
aap 2010 mein kunware na rahe.
apka rista lekar apki saas aa jaye..
Happy New year

Bachelor ki degree

Lagta hai meri tarah aap logo ki bhi shadi nahi ho sakti..
Hai na buri bat? par kyun..?
Socho socho..

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are kyunki hum logo ko bachelor ki degree jo mil gayi hai...

Pappu

Pappu was smoking in front of his father..
friend- oye papa ke samne smoking kar raha hai?
Pappu: papa hai... petrol pump thode hi na hai..

smile

Smile is the electricity and life is a battery...
whenever you smile battery gets discharged and a beautiful day is activated...
so plz keep smiling...

Makar sankranti ki badhaiyan

Til ki khusbu aur gujhiye ki mithas
patango ki uchai aur manjhe ki dhar
Dahi bade, jinme ho chatpate ki bahar
Mubarak ho apko makar sankranti ka yeh tyohar..

Teacher and pappu

Teacher: Apne papa ka nam english mein batao...
Pappu: Beautiful Red Underwear...
Teacher wat nonsense.. iska matlab kya hua...
 
Sundar lal Chadda

santa banta

Santa: Tum to kah rahe the ki tum cement ki factory banaoge to abhi tak banai kyun nahi... Banta: Kya karu factory banane ke liye cement hi nahi mila...

Happy b'day

Wish You a Happy & Joyful Birthday!!! Hope all that you do Turns out happy for you And all that you wish Comes your way, So each hour will bring, Every wonderful thing You could ask of a wonderful day You’re always very special

birthday

Da stars wishes u,

da brightness of moon wishes u,

da sunshine wishes u,

da waves wishes u,

da flowers wishes u,

da morning wishes u,

wish wishes u,

last but not da least I wishe u "Happy Birth Day"

Happy b'day

From morning till night
May your birthday be bright
And nicer than ever before……
And as years come and go
May your happiness grow
And your dreams be fulfilled Even more

Happy B'day

Happy b'day

Let the god decorate each golden ray of the sun reaching u with wishes of success, happiness and prosperity 4 u, wish you a super duper happy birthday

Funny Joke

The Principal of an elementary school went into a kindergarten classroom with all the a pack of Life Savers and told the kids, "I am going to give you all the same flavor and if you can tell me what it is then you will all get a prize."

He gave them all Honey, and didn't tell them what flavor it was.
The kids ate them and no one knew what kind of flavor they were,
so he said, "Here I will give you a clue, your mother might call your father this."

Little Johnny stands on a chair and shouts, "Everyone spit them out, it's asshole flavored!"

A PJ

Q. What is a PJ? 
A. A 'Phaltoo' Joke. 

Q. What is P + iJ?
A. A Complex 'Phaltoo' Joke.

Q. But why don't we laugh at it? 
A. Because the 'Joking' part is imaginary!

9 things God won't ask:

1...God won't ask what kind of car you drove;
He'll ask how many people you drove who didn't have transportation.

2... God won't ask the square footage of your house,
He'll ask how many people you welcomed into your home.

3...God won't ask about the clothes you had in your closet,
He'll ask how many you helped to clothe.

4... God won't ask what your highest salary was,
He'll ask if you compromised your character to obtain it.

5...God won't ask what your job title was,
He'll ask if you performed your job to the best of your ability.

6...God won't ask how many friends you had,
He'll ask how many people to whom you were a friend.

7... God won't ask in what neighborhood you lived,
He'll ask how you treated your neighbors.

8...God won't ask about the color of your skin,
He'll ask about the content of your character..

9...God won't ask why it took you so long to seek Salvation,
He'll lovingly

Happy Diwali: Sabka Pya mile

Is DIWALI se agli DIWALI tak apko
GHARWALI
BAHARWALI
SABJIWALI
PADOSWALI
COLLEGEWALI
DODHWALI
DILWALI
KAMWALI
FULWALI
sab ka pyar mile
HAPPY DIWALI.

Happy Diwali

Jay ghosh jay ghosh har aur hai,
Diwaali ki khushi chhayi ghanghor hai,
Ram ji ghar padhare hai,
Aastha ki prasannata manohar hai..
Deepavali ki badhai ho

Kaise Manaye diwali bin mehboob

Tamanna thi dil mein ki saath raushan karenge ghar angaan,
Baithenge saath unke aur karenge bhagwan ko phool arpan,
Par Diye, patakhe aur phuljariyan sab hui rang-heen
Kaise manaye diwali hum,bin mehboob sab ghamgeen. !!!

Happy Dhan terash

Dhan terash means
D = Dhan
H = Health
A = Anand
N = Nature
T = Talent
E = Enjoyment
R = Romance
A = Aitbar
S = Saubhagya
H = Honesty
Happy Dhanterash

Happy Diwali

Tamam jahan jagmagaya, phir se tyohar roshni ka aya,
koi tumhe hamse pehle badhaiyan na de de isiliye,
Yeh paigam-e-mubarak sabse pehle hamne hai bhijwaya

Happy Diwali

Pal Pal se banta hai Ehasas,
ehsas se banta hai Vishvas,
vishvas se bante hai Rishte,
aur rishte se banta hai koi Khas,
Wishing a Diwali Jhakas

Happy Diwali

Diye se roshan rahe aapka ghar dwar,
khushiya aaye jivan mein baar baar,
safalta har dam kare aapka intezaar,
diwali ki shubh kaamnao ke sath dher sara pyar…

About Deepavali

Deepawali is a festival of lights, colour, happiness and a new beginning.
On the Hindu calendar, Deepawali or Diwali is celebrated for the five days from the 13th day of the dark half of the lunar month Ashvina(क्वार का महीना ) to the second day of the light half of Karttika (कर्त्तिका ).
According to Sanskrit word Deepavali - ‘Deep’ means diya (small pots made from clay(दिया) ) or light and ‘Avali’, means a row - meaning a row of lamps.

Pati ka Pyar

Patni ne Pati se poocha - agar main kho gayi to tum kya karoge?
Pati ne javab diya - main advertise dunga ki jahan bhi raho khush raho :)

About karva chauth

Karva Chauth is a fasting observed by the Hindu women for the long life, health and prosperity of their husband.
It is a festival that is of great importance to the women and celebrated throughout India with zeal and enthusiasm. The word Karwa (Karva) means a clay pot and chauth means fourth, as the festival is commemorated on the fourth day after the full moon in Kartik month of Hindu calendar.  The women break their fast after the moon has risen.

Happy Karwa chauth: Letter from Husband to wife

Dear Wife,
your love is about everything for me,
though the ritual is for you to fast
but here too I am not feeling hungry either...

I question myself...
Why only wives are allowed
to observe the fast & show their love..

But dear I too love you a lot and I am thankful
 to God to have such a loving, Caring n Beautiful wife..

I may not say every day...
But I always care for you..
And beneath deep in my heart..

Its only you!!
and Always you!!

Happy Karwa Chauth

Karva chauth SMS/Scrap from Husband to wife

Its day of fast for my wife,
I know you care for my life,
Though I can eat but believe,
I did not take any wheat,
I as Husband cares of your,
Every moment I love you More .. More More..

Karvachauth ki Shubhkamnaye

Dhanya woh devi jo pati sukh hetu vrat paave
Dhanya woh pati jo devi roop patni paave
Dhanya woh swaroop jo Manushyata ka deep jalawe..
Karvachauth ki Shubhkamnaye

karva Chauth SMS from Wife to Husband

Aaj mujhe aapka khaas intezaar hai,
Ye din hai karvachauth ka..
Apki lambi umra ki mujhe darkaar hai..
Jaldi aana, yakin karna apke liye sab chorr baithi,

apka pyar hai !

Karva chauth

Muhabbat aik aisi bhi,
Khuda ki banai moti si,
Bhook pyaas se aur chamke..
Aise fitrat karva chauth ki jyoti si…

Naye Sal ke sooraj ki kiran

Kal Jab Naye Sal Ke Sooraj Ki Pehli Kiran Ho
Khil Uthay Zindagi Teri, Aisi Har Taraf Bahar Ho


Khule Jo Aankhain Teri, To Har Taraf Khushi Ho
Har Khushiyan Teri, Beetay Saal Se Barh Kar Ho

Rahe Salaamat Tu Sadaa, Koi Gam Na Ho
Khushiyan Dein Jo Tujh Ko, Aisa Har Ek Pal Ho

Na Rahaye Dukh Ranj Koi, Aisa Tera Muqadar Ho
Tere Lub-E-Rukhsaar Per Muskaan saji Ho


Taaron Ki Tarah Jhilmilati Teri Yeh Ankhein Ho
Door Rahe Dard Tujh Se,Na Hi Koi Aansoo Ho

Mehakta Rahe Dil Tera Jis Se, Aisi Khusbu Ho
Na Aye Koi Mushkil, Khuda ke Rehmat Ki Barsaat Ho

Na Aye Koi Pathar Rahaaon Mein, Aisa Safar Ho
Rahaye Sabit Qadam Tu,Har Manzil Teri Apni Ho

Roshan Hojaye Hasti Teri,Aisi Har Nayi Sehar Ho
Fizaa Mehkay Aangan Ki, Aisi Haseen Shaam Ho

Har Sham Aangan Mei Tere Taaroon Ki Baraat Ho
Utre Chaand Aasmaan Se Har Taraf Chandani Ho

Mangi Hay Dua Khuda Se K Umar Teri lambi Ho
Chahe Tu Sang Kisi Ka, To Aman Tera Hamsafar Ho