Engineer's Thought on Work

Umar ki rah me Jajbat badal jate hai..
Waqt ki aandhi me halat badal jate hai..
sochta hu ki KAM kar kar ke record tod du..
kambakht salary dekhte hi khyalat badal jate hai..

Only GOD can understand us !!!!!!!!

Swarg k dwar pe 3 log khade the....

God : Sirf 1 hi andar ja sakta hai....

1st : Main Brahmin hu, sari umar aapki seva ki hai. Swarg pe mera hak hai.... Bhagwan Kuch Nahi bole

2nd : Main Doctor hu, sari umar logo ki seva ki hai. Swarg pe mera haq hai..... Bhagwan Kuch Nahi bole

3rd : Main sari umar Private Company mein kam kiya hai.... .......

Bhagwan Bole :Bus......... aage kuch mat bol.... Rulaayega kya pagle..? Andar aa ja......... Tere forwarded mails, follow-ups, promotion nahi milne ka wo 6 saal, month end, quarter end, year ends me woh night shifts, data nahi milne se doosra departments se panga, CTC se zaada deductions, raat me ghar jane ka lafda , family ko na time dene ki frustrations, boss se meetings, delivery dates, week ends mein kaam etc etc. mere ko senti kar diya re..aja jaldi andar aja.....

Happy engineers day

we are cheaters, but don't cheat manners!
we hate study, but love technology!
we flirt with flirters, but love lovers!
we don't have books in hand, but have revolutionary ideas in mind!
world can't change us, but WE CAN CHANGE THE WHOLE WORLD!!
 Meet us ...

We are ENGINEERS...
HAPPY ENGINEERS DAY!!! :)

engineers day!!

When I was kid I used to say: " main bada hoke engineer banunga"... At that time I was proud and parents were in tension ...
& now they are proud and I am in tension after becoming engg..
Happy engineers Day!!

Horror movies of IT Sector

Deadline

Wo Akhri Mail………………

Masoom Coder- A Life in trouble

9 Ghante 15 Minute

Ichadhari Bug

Prod Release ki Raat

Do Hazar Code Ke Neeche

REGRESSION - RELOADED

0 Bug – Mano ya na Mano…………….!!!

I know what you CODED last summer

Adam khor developer

I still know what you CODED last summer

Coding- The mystery continues…

Darinda manager, tadapta developer ... !!!!

Andha code … !!!

Gayab coder – A murder mystery.. !!!

Zahreela food court .. !!!

Recession – Jaani dushman

--- Appraisal Ki Pyaas
--- Badla Developer Ka
--- Tester Bana Shaitaan
--- Manager ki Cheekh
---Client Ka Qaher!!!!!!!! !!!
---Viraana Cubicle!!!!!! !!!!!!!

Last but not the least
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Khooni Client Call

Enginner's Day

You can be a Doctor and save lives…
You can be a Lawyer and defend lives…
You can be a Soldier and protect lives…

But why play with others’ lives???

So we simply became engineers to screw up our own lives;
HAPPY ENGINEER'S DAY!! [:)]

bapu ne bola hai..

"Agar koi tumhari salary na increase kare, tumhe promotion na de,

tum kam karte raho....

sirf kam hi nehi zada kam karo......

Promotion ki ummed na karo.......

Dekhna, Uski aatma ek din jaroor jaagegi.

Aur vo tumhe salary hike aur promotion zaroor dega"

Aur agar fir bhi koi salary hike aur promotion nahi mile,

To uske paas jana, use ek Guldasta dena.... aur kehna.......

I am resigning; others will also do the same

if u don’t ,,,,,

GET  WELL SOON  MAMU

sardar aur motor

Ek sardar ji ka Electric Engineer ki post k liye interview tha.
Interviewer: Electric motor kaisay chalti hai?
Sardar ji: TorrRrrRrrRrrrrRrrr TorrrRrrrrrrr

A Wednesday--- Rephrased for a Software Engineer

***All of you who have seen the movie ‘A Wednesday’... ***

Commissioner Rathore : kaun ho tum..??? kya pehcan hai tumhari ?

Unkonwn Caller : Kaun hoon mein...mein vo hu jo aaj commintment karne se darta hai, Mein vo hoon jo aaj ghar jaane se darta ha, ye soch ke kahin ghar wale pehchanne se inkar na kar de...

mein vo hoon jo, aaj job change karta hai to sochta hai ki kahin recession mein mujhe company se na nikal de..

mein vo hoon jiski girlfriend usse friday ko dus bar phone karti hai, "kya kar rahe ho..?? kaam jyada hai..?? thak gaye ho..?? " mera haal poochne ke liye ya kaam poochne ke liye nahi, rathore saab... balki vo ye jaanaa chahti hai ki... kahin hamesha ki tarah end moment pe boss ke bulane pe mein saturday ki date cancel to nahi kar raha...

mein vo hoon jo breakfast ke time pe dinner karta hai, lunch time pe breakfast karta hai, dinner ke time pe lunch karta hai.. vo bhi time mil jae to...

mein vo hoon jo aksar phasta hain kabhi Interviews ke sawaal mey phasta hai , kabhi Badi companiyon ke jaal mey phasta hai, kabhi boss aur client ke bawaal mey fasta hai.

Project aur office ki bheed to dekhi hogi aapne rathore saab... us bheed mein se koi bhi chehra chun lijie.. mein vo hoon.. I'm the same old ..*STUPID ENGINEER*.... [:-)] [;)]  [:)]

Engg Student

Rehne ki yahan sabki aukat nahi hoti
bina beer aur daaru ke yahan raat nahi hoti
ye engineering college hai mere dost yahan
bina maa bahan ke bat nahi hoti.

Kabir ke dohe aur SW Engineer

Kabir : Aisi baani boliye, man ka aapa khoye
Auron ko sheetal kare, aaphi sheetal hoye

SE: Aisa presentation dijiye, man ka aapa khoye,
Auron ko confuse kare, aaphi confuse hoye


Kabir : Guru Govind doyu khade, kaake laagu paye
Balihari guru aapke, govind diyo bataye

SE : Client aur manager doyu khade, kaake laagu paye
Balihaari client aapke, manager diyo bataye.


Rahim : Rahiman dhaaga prem ka, mat todo chatkaye
Tode se fir Jude na, Jude gaanth pad jaaye

SE : SE confidence manager, mat todo chatkaye
Project to barbaad hoye hi, appraisal mein waat lag jaye.


Kabir : Dheere dheere re mana, dheere sab kuch hoye,
Maali seenche sow ghara, ritu aaye phal hoye

SE : Dheere dheere re project leader, dheere project execute hoye,
Client dikhaye kitni bhi urgency, release deadline ke baad hi hoye..


Kabir : Jab Tun Aaya Jagat Mein , Log Hanse Tu Roye
Aise Karni Na Kari , Pache Hanse Sab roye

SE : Jab project aaye company mein, client hase hum roye,
Aisi karni na Kari , TU hase client roye...


Kabir: Dukh Mein Sumiran Sab Kare , Sukh Mein Kare Na Koye
Jo Sukh Mein Sumiran Kare , Tau Dukh Kahe Ko Hoye

SE: Rush hour mein kaam sab Karen , routine mein kare na koye,
Jo routine mein sab kaam kare, to rush hour kaahe hoye.


Kabir : Pothhi padh padh jag mooya, pandit bhaya na koye,
Dhai aakhar prem ka, padhe so pandit hoye

SE : Coding kar AR jag mooya, programmer bhaya na koye,
Do shabd copy-paste ke, kare so programmer hoye.


Kabir : Chalati chakki dekh ke, diya Kabira roye,
Do paatan ke beechmein, saabut bacha na koye

SE: Client aur manager ko dekhke, engineers saare roye,
Deadline meet karne ke chakkar mein, saabut bacha na koye.






Kabir: Chinta Aisee Dakini, Kat Kaleja Khaye
Vaid Bichara Kya Kare , Kahan Tak Dawa Lagaye

SE: Deadline aisi dakini, man ka tension badhaaye,
Kaam itna ho sar par, time pe complete kaise ho paaye.


Kabir: Maala To Kar Mein Phire , Jeebh Phire Mukh Mahin
Manua To Chahun Dish Phire, Yeh To Sumiran Nahin

SE: Engineer gaye sab cigarette peene, Leader phire office maahin,
Cubicle se jyaada time canteen pe rahe, yeh to dedication naahin

What is the question?

A railway station beggar meets another beggar.
A software engineer meets another software engineer.
Both of them ask the same question to each other.
What is the question?



























So, which platform are you working on?"
can be seen here

Imagine ur self in a Sprite Ad

Your Colleague: Hey!! Kya yahan baitha mail forward karta rahta hai yaar !!

Naye equipments dekh....

Naye projects seekh.....

Fatafat datasheets kar......

Overtime kar after 6:00.... like me....!

Do something gooood man !!

You : Achha! To usse Kya hoga ..

Your Colleague: Impression!!! Appraisal !!!

Har appraisal main tu No 1!

Hike in salary !! Extra Stocks

You: Phir kya hoga...

Your Colleague : Engineer ban jaayega..Phir Lead Engineer !!!

Phir Senior Manager!! One day U will be a

Director of the Company man !!

You : Acchha to phir kya hoga...

Your Colleague : Abe phir tu aish karega! Koi kaam nahin karna padega !

Araam se office aayega aur MAIL check karega.


You : To ab main kya kar raha hoon????

"Dikhawe pe na jao, apni akal lagao.

Hard Work hai waste, trust only copy-paste "

Subject: How to catch a Lion?

Newton 's Method:

Let, the lion catch you.

For every action there is an equal and opposite reaction.

Implies you caught lion.

************ ********

Einstein Method:

Run in the direction opposite to that of the lion.

Due to higher relative velocity, the lion will also run faster and
will get tired soon.

Now you can trap it easily.

************ ********

Software Engineer Method:

Catch a cat and claim that your testing has proven that its a Lion.

If anyone comes back with issues tell that you will upgrade it to Lion.

************ ********

Indian Police Method:

Catch any animal and interrogate it & torture it to accept that its a lion .

************ ********

Rajnikanth Method :

Keep warning the lion that u may come and attack anytime.

The lion will live in fear and die soon in fear itself.

************ ********

Jayalalitha Method:

Send Police commissioner Muthukaruppan around 2AM and kill it, while
it's sleeping !

************ ********

Manirathnam Method (director):

Make sure the lion does not get sun light and put the lion in a dark
room with a single candle lighted.

Keep murmuring something in its ears.

The lion will be highly irritated and commit suicide.

************ ********

Karan Johar Method (director):

Send a lioness into the forest.
Our lion and lioness fall in love with each other.
Send another lioness in to the forest, followed by another lion.
First lion loves the first lioness and the second lion loves the 2nd lioness.
But 2nd lioness loves both lions.
Now send another lioness (third) into the forest.
You don't understand right... Ok....read it after 15 yrs, then also u wont!

************ ********

Yash Chopra method (director):
Take the lion to Australia or US.. And kill it in a good scenic location.
************ ********

Govinda method:
Continuously dance before the lion for 5 or 6 days. The Lion will drop
dead just watching!
************ ********

Menaka Gandhi method:
Save the lion from a danger and feed him with some vegetables continuously.
************ ********

George bush method:
Link the lion with Osama bin laden and shoot him!!!
************ ********

Ravi Shastri method:
Ask the lion to bowl at u.
U bat for 200 balls and score 1 run
Lion tired and surrenders