Happy New year

Like birds, let us,
leave behind what we don't need to carry…
GRUDGES SADNESS PAIN FEAR and REGRETS.
Life is beautiful, Enjoy it.
HAPPY NEW YEAR 2010

 Morning brings HOPE,
Afternoon brings FAITH,
Evening brings LOVE,
Night brings REST,
Hope you will have all of them everyday.
HAPPY NEW YEAR 2010.

Fill your life with Happiness & Bright Cheer,

Bring to u Joy and Prosperity for the whole Year,

And it's my New Year wish 4u Dear.

Wishing u a VERY HAPPY NEW YEAR

12 Months happiness,
52 weeks fun,
365 Days laughter,
8760 hrs good luck,
525600 Minutes joy,
31536000 seconds success,
So wishing u a
Happy New Year

Day by day teri khusiya ho jaye Double,

Teri zindagi se delete ho jaye sare Trouble,

Khuda rakkhe humesha tujhe Smart & Fit,

Tera liye New Year ho Super-Duper Hit!!

Happy New year

Keep the smile, leave the tear, Think of joy, forget the fear... Hold the laugh, leave the pain, Be joyous , Coz its new year!HAPPY NEW YEAR

Happy New year

Angelina Jolie
Tom Cruise
Aishwarya Rai
Arnold
Jennifer Lopez
Amitabh Bachhan
Katrina Kaif
& me..
All the Stars wish u a Very Happy New Year

Beginning of New Year

Beauty....
Freshness.. ..
Dreams....
Truth....
Imagination....
Feeling.....
Faith.....
Trust.....
Love....
This is begining of a new year!

Happy New year

For last year's words belong to last year's language
And next year's words await another voice.
And to make an end is to make a beginning.Happy New Year

dosti

dosti pehli baarish ki boondon main hai
dosti khilte phoolon ki khushboo main hai
dosti dhalte sooraj ki kirano main hai
dosti har naye din ki umeed hai
dosti khwaab hai,dosti jeet hai
dosti pyaar hai,dosti geet hai
dosti do jahano ka sangeet hai
dosti hai khushi,dosti zindagi
dosti sang chalty hawaon main hai
dosti in barasti ghataon main hai
dosti doston ki wafaon main hai
haath uttha kay jo maangi gayi hai dua
dosti ka asar in duaon main hai....!!!

If you donot succeed at first

If you donot succeed at first, ... Well, so much for sky diving.
If you donot succeed at first...don’t try again, she is expecting it.
If you donot succeed at first, ...fix the blame, Quick!
If you donot succeed at first, ... you are about average.
If you donot succeed at first, ... blame it on your secretary!
If you donot succeed at first, ... well, get on with your life.
If you donot succeed at first ... failure may be your style
If we donot succeed ... we run the risk of failure.
-- Dan Quayle

You can't fool

You can't fool all the people all the time, quite a few are busy fooling you.
You can fool all the people some time & some of the people all the time, but you can't fool your wife
You can fool some of the people and some of the time and that is enough dough.
You can fool all the people part of the time - And that is enough.
-- Edgar Lee Masters

Behind every successful Man

Behind every successful man stands a woman telling him that he is not so hot.
Behind every successful man stands a woman telling him to put everything in her name.
Behind every successful man stands his amazed mother -in- law.
Behind every successful man there is always a fellow who went to school with him.

Learning: Imagine United world

Imagine there's no countries, it is n’t hard to do
Nothing to kill or die for, And no religion too...
 
You may say I'm a dreamer, but I'm not the only one
I hope someday you'll join us, And the world will be as one.

By: John Lennon, 1971 

What is life: some one liners

Life lies in Love, Laughter, Liberty and Learning..
Some tasty mints of Life:

                                                      Life
Life is full of ups and downs, like getting up every morning and getting down to work.

                                                     laughter
Laugh and the whole world laughs with you, snore and you sleep alone!

                                                       love
Love is blind, marriage is the eye opener - a hard lesson in life!

                                                     liberty
Liberty is imagination's most precious possession.

                                                     learning
Life is only understood backwards but it must be lived forward.

On the road of life,

- paradox is your path and pattern is your map.
 ********
Knowing something is knowledge and using it is wisdom.
********


Reference: Sweet life: Nice page on poems, parodies, and one liners about life

Full form of Mummy

What is full form of mummy:
M: Ma
U: U live
M: Many
M: more
Y: years

So Love your MUMMY to the most....

Sardar Virus

Dear Reciever,
I am a sardar virus.
Im not so advanced so please delete all your data by yourself and
also help me 2 spread by sending all..
Thanking you...

Foreign language

A mouse was going with his kids...
A CAT jumped infront of them...
Mouse shouted BHOW BHOW and CAT ran away..
Mouse: Thats the advantage of learning foreign Language.. :)

mere pas maa hai....

Now finally after almost 30 yrs Amitabh can finally answer...SHASHI KAPOOR
.
.
.
.
.
.
Agar tumhare pas MAA hai toh mere pas PAA hai...

Santa as lawyer

Qatil: try karna ki mujhe fansi ke bajay umar kaid hi ho...
Santa lawyer : Ok thik hai aisa hi hoga..

After Court trial....
Qatil: Kya hua..
Santa: Bahut muskil se umar kaid mili... Court to tumhe riha kar rahi thi...

Sardar and truck

EK truck doosre truck ko khich ke le ja raha tha... Yeh dekhkar sardar hasin se lotpot ho gaya...

Aur bola ki.. 1 Rassi ko le jane ke liye do-do truck//....
:)
:)

World sorry saying Day

Since it's World sorry saying Day !!!

So If ever I have said anything to you,  If I have hurt you...
Or
If my mails are disturbing you or irritating you...
So seriously I just wanna to say these Three Words to you...
..
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
..
.
.
.

I WILL CONTINUE....

sitare

Sab kehte hai achhe log mar kar sitare ban jate hai,
Magar hum kehte hai, Achhe sitare toot kar,
Aap jaise dost ban kar is dunya mai aate hai
aur hum jaise dosto ke dil mai bus jaaate hai

khuda ki rahmat

Zikr hua jab khuda ki rahmato ka,
Hamne khud ko sabse khushnasib paya,
Tamanna thi ik pyare se dost ki,
khuda khud dost bankar chala aaya

aap jaisa pyaara

tum jaise dosto se pyare koi ho nahi sakta
Jaisa hai rishta humaara dusra koi nahi.
Chahe saari duniya me dhoond lo...
Puri kaynaat me aap jaisa pyaara koi nahi.

Tumhe Keh Nahi Sakte

Zubaan Se Tumhe Keh Nahi Sakte,
Isliye Humesha Khuda Se Fariyaad Karte Hai,,
Jab Bhi Tumhara Dil Zor Se Dhadke,
Samajh Lena Hum Tumhe Dil Se Yaad Karte Hai,

dosti ka rishta

Na chupana koi bat Dil me ho agar,
rakna thoda bharosa tum mujpar,
hum nibhaege dosti ka rishta is kadar,
ki bhulane par bi na bhula paoge hume zindgi bhar

Teri dosti

Teri dosti meri pehchan hai,
teri khushi meri jaan hai,
kuchh bhi nahi meri zindagi,
bas itna samajh le ki teri dosti hi meri shaan hai.

Zindagi ek

Zindagi ek Gift hai, (Qabool kijye)
Zindadi ek Ehsaas hai, (Mehsoos kijye)
Zindagi ek Dard hai, (Bant lijye)
Zindagi ek Aansu hai, (Pee lijye)
Zindagi ek Pyaas hai, (Pyaar dijye)
Zindagi ek Judai hai, (Sabar kijye)
Zindagi ek Milan hai, (Muskura lijye)
Zindagi aakhir Zindagi hai, (Jee lijye)

Yeh raat itni tanha kyun

Yeh raat itni tanha kyun hoti hai,
Kismat se apni sabko sikayat kyun hoti hai,
Ajeeb khel khelti hai yeh kismat
Jise hum pah nahi sakte usi se mohabbat kyun hoti hai.

Unka muskarana

Raaz dil ka dil mein chupate hai woh,
Samne aate hi nazar jhukate hai woh,

Baat karte nahi, ya hoti nahi,
Par shukar hai jab bhi milte hai muskurate hai woh

Heer aur Ranjha

Ek hi tamanna hai is fakir ke paas'
Meri taswir lagaana apni taswir ke paas'

Jab log dekhe use to ye kahe 'dekho..
Raanjha kaise baitha hai apni Heer ke paas

Teri tasweer

Ek takdir si najar aati hai,
Ek janjir si najar aati hai

Aakhir kitaab me padhe bhi to kya padhe,
Her panne pe teri tasveer nazar aati hai

Kuchh Nasha

Kuch nasha to aapki baat ka hai,
Kuch nasha to dheemi barsaat ka hai,

Humein aap yun hi sharabi na kahiye,
Is dil par asar to aap se mulakat ka hai

Pathan in ship

Ek bar 300 Pathan ship main travel kar rahe tahe,
Lekin sare k sare mar gaye.

Kaise?
Nothing serious.

Ship bich main kharab hogai.
To dhakka dene niche utar gaye

Sardar in ladies toilet

Sardar by mistake goes into ladies toilet, all ladies suddenly stand up!

Sardar: izzat dil mai ho bus yahi kafi hota hai, Betho Betho

Hathi aur chinti ki shadi

Hathi aur chenti ka prem vivah hua,
Dusre din hathi mar gaya,
Cheenti boli "wah re mohabbat"
Ek din ka pyar mila,
Aur sari umar kabar khodne ka kaam mila

Husband & Wife

Husband:Generally the people who are stupid and fool get good,loving and beautiful wife.
wife: o!dear please stop praising me

Begging

Beggar:Do you know i am an author and i have written the book called "A MILLION WAY TO EARN".
Chintu: Then why are you begging?
Beggar:Because it is the easiest way among all of them.

Santa Goes 2 Petrol Pump.............

He Reads The Notice: DON'T USE MOBILE HERE

Santa Calls to everyone & Says DON'T CALL ME I'm In A Petrol Pump
********************************************************************************
Santa :Define girl friend
Banta:Arey yaar girlfriend woh hoti hai jo ladke ko tok tok kar uski saari aadatein badal deti hai aur yeh keh kar chod deti hai ki"tum aab badal gaye ho".
********************************************************************************
Santa : arey why does your wife calls you by "AG".
Banta:She loves me very much so she never insult me in public .so she calls me AG.......meaning Arey GADHA...

Driver

Santa and Banta Singhs landed up in Bombay and got into a doubledecker.
Santa somehow managed to get a bottom seat in the bus. Unfortunate Banta got pushed to the top. When the rush was over, Santa went upstairs to look up Banta, found Banta in badly scared, clutching the seats in front with both hands.
Santa asked, "Arre Banta! What's going on? Why so scared?
I was enjoying my ride down there? Scared Banta replied, "Yeah, but you've got a *driver*.

Clock Tower

Sardarji is in Delhi. He is walking on a street which has a Clock Tower when someone asks him if he wants to buy the clock on the Tower. Sardarji says "Yes".
"Give me a thousand rupees and I'll go get a ladder." The man took the thousand and disappeared. Having waited for several hours the Sardarji figured he was taken for a ride. On the next day the Sardarji is again walking along the same street and the same man asks him to buy the clock. "Give me a thousand rupees and I'll go get a ladder."
The Sardarji gives him the thousand and says I am not a fool. This time, you wait and I'll go get a ladder."

Rubi and Moti, and Sardarji

Two dogs, Rubi and Moti, and Sardarji were sent to the outer space.
The ground control issues commands, "Rubi!"
"Woof!" (barking sound ) "Press the red button." "Woof! Woof!"
"Moti!" "Woof!" "Press the white button." "Woof! Woof!"
"Sardarji!" "Woof." "Stop barking, feed the dogs and don't touch anything!

Chinese

Sardarji got the 4th child. He fills the birth certificate. "Mother: Sikh. Father: Sikh. Kid: Chinese." "How come you write "Chinese" when both parents are Sikh?" "
Aah, Sardarji read a newspaper, it said every 4th person born on the Earth now is a Chinese."

Donkey

Having lost his donkey Sardarji, got down
to his knees and thanked God.
A passerby saw this and asked,
"Your donkey is missing. What are you thanking God for?"
Sardarji replied, "I am thanking Him for seeing to it that
I wasn't riding the donkey at that time,
otherwise I would have been missing too."

20 rupees

Sardarji is travelling by train.
He feels sleepy, so he gives the guy opposite 20 rupees to wake him up when his station comes.
This guy is a barber. He feels that for 20 rupees Sardarji deserves more.
So, when Sardarji falls asleep, the barber quietly shaves off his beard.
When the station arrives, he wakes up Sardarji and sends him home.
Reaching home, he goes to wash his face, and suddenly screams when he sees the mirror.
Sardarni asks, "What's the matter?"
"The cheat on the train takes my 20 rupees and wakes up someone else!"

Apple and Banana

Apple is crying.

Banana:why are you crying?

Apple:All of them cut and eat me.

Banana:You are so lucky than me because all of them remove my dress and eat me.

Apple:!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Man and God

Man:what is million years to You?
God:only a second.
Man:what is billion of Dollar to You?
God:only a Coin.
Man:ok give me a Coin.
God:wait a second..

sharabi's eyes

Sharabi eyes donate karne gaya, Counter Clerk asks: Kuch kehna chahte ho?
Sharabi: Jise lagao usse bata dena ye do peg ke baad khulti hai

Frog

Man :Name the animal which live in water and land
Boy :Simple 'Frog'
Man :Now name such 4 animals
Boy :Simple "Frog's mother,Frog's father,Frog's sister

sardar specials

Marathon Race
One day Sardar happened to see a marathon race.
"What the guys are doing" asked the sardar.
" We are running a marathon. The winner will get prize" replied one runner.
"Only the winner will get prize! Then why others are participating!!" Exclaimed the Sardar
 
13th Floor
One day a sardarji was sitting in his office on the
thirteenth floor building when a man came running in
to his office and shouted "Santa Singh your daughter
Preeto just died in an accident" Sardarji was in
panic.Not knowing what to do he jumped from his office
window. While coming down when he was near the tenth
floor he remembered he didn't have a daughter named
Preeto. When he was near the fifth floor he remembered
he was not married.When he was about to hit the ground
he remembered he was not Santa Singh.

Phone Book
A sardar walked up to the front desk of the library
and said, "I borrowed a book last week, but it was the
most boring I've ever read. There was no story
whatsoever, and there were far too many characters!"
The librarian replied, "Oh, you must be the person who
took our phone book."


Cows Don't Fly
A sardar was walking along, when he looked up to
observe a bird flying overhead. Suddenly, the bird
dropped a load when it was directly over him. The
Sardar says, "Good thing that cows don't fly."


Dark Room
Did you hear about the sardar who asked his friends to
give him all their burnt out light bulbs? He just
bought a camera and wanted to set up a Darkroom.

Girlfriends

Maths Teacher : If you have 12 choclates and you

give 5 to priya ,
3 to Anitha and
4 to kavitha
then what will u get????

....

.....

......

......
Student : 3 New Girlfriends Mam!

Santa Banta

Banta Singh and Santa Singh got tired using cell phones and for a change
decided to use really ancient methods of communication.
They decided to use pigeons to send messages.

So they went and bought expensive carrier pigeons from the Jama Masjid market in old Delhi and found to their joy that the pigeons indeed could be trained and the birds very easily learnt to return directly to their respective homes. And so this scheme worked very fine.

One day Santa sends his pigeon.
When the pigeon reaches to Banta it is with out message.

Banta picked his mobile and asked Santa "What is this joke? The pigeon is without any message!!!"

Santa said "Oye khotey, this was a missed call."

Doctor and Patient

PATIENT: (on phone) I am feeling sick. When can I come and see you?
DOCTOR: How about next week.
PATIENT: And if I die by that time?
DOCTOR: Then you can always cancel the appointment.

Santa

Teacher:What is the formula of water?
Santa: H2MgClNaClHNO3CaCO3Ca(OH)2SnTnHg NiHCl(COOH)O
Teacher:What is this?
Santa: This is Corporation Water! 

******************************************
Teacher: Write a C program to prevent TITANIC from sinking..
Santa:Declare the variable TITANIC as float…!
***********************************************
An English man and Santamet while going to the toilet.
English man: good morning, how do u do?
Santa: usually we remove underwear and then do, And how do u do?
 
************************************************
Santa was asked to write a sign board for the traffic near the school.
He wrote: Drive carefully! Don’t kill the students, wait for the teachers..!

Santa singh MBBS

Santa Singh MBBS
After finishing his MBBS, Dr. Santa Singh starts his Own practice.
He checked his first patient's Eyes, then the tongue, and finally the Ears using a torch.
Finally he said Battery is Ok !!!

sardar specials

Why did Sardar cut the sides of the capsule before taking it?
Guess what...
To avoid side effects!!!
*********************************************
Q:) Why did the sardarji sleep with a scale?
A:) Because he wanted to measure how long he has Slept....... 
********************************************
Sardarji Was Sitting In A Park, Then One Man Ask Him,

Are You Relaxing ?. Sardar Said No I Am Manjith Sing
  

sardar and password

A sardar was drawing money from ATM,
The sardar behind him in the line said, "Ha! Ha! Haaa! I've seen ur password. Its 4 asterisks (****). "
The first sardar replies, "Ha! Ha! Haaa! U R wrong, Its 1258"

sardarni

A person went into the office kitchen one morning and found a Sardarni painting the walls. She was wearing a new fur coat and a nice denim jacket.
Thinking this was a little strange; he asked her why she was wearing them rather than old clothes or an overall.
She showed him the instructions on the tin, "For Best Results put on Two Coats"

sardar and girl

Sardar: For the past one week a girl is disturbing Me.
I don't know how she got my no, she interrupts whenever I call someone and says "please recharge your card

sardar specials

Postman: - I Have To Come 5 Miles to Deliver U This Packet
Sardar: - why did U come so far. Instead U could Have posted it...
***************************************************
A Sardar & his wife filed an application for Divorce.
Judge asked: How'll U divide your kids, U"VE 3 children?
Sardar replied: Ok! We'll apply NEXT YEAR

**************************************************
Sardar's wish: when I die, I wana die like my Grandpa who died peacefully in his sleep not Screaming like all d passengers in d car he was Driving..

****************************************************
A man: "Sardarji, tell me, why Manmohan Singh goes for a walk in the evening not in the morning?"
Sardarji: ''Arey bhai Manmohan is PM not AM’’. 

Sardar and essay

A teacher told all students in a class to write an essay on a cricket match.
All were busy writing except one Sardarji.
He wrote "DUE TO RAIN, NO MATCH!"

sardar and key

Sardar: Doctor! My Son swallowed a key
Doctor: When?
Sardar: 3 Months Ago
Dr:What were u doing till now?
Sardar: We were using duplicate key

sardar specials

Judge: Don't U have shame? It is the 3rd time u are coming to court.
Sardar to judge: U are coming daily, don't U have shame? 
**************************************************
Friend: I got a brand new Ford IKON for my wife!
Sardar: Wow!!! That's an unbelievable exchange offer!!!  

**************************************************

Sir: What is difference between Orange and Apple?
Sardar: Color of Orange is orange color, but color of Apple is not APPLE color. 


************************************************** 
 Why does a Sardar open his lunch box in the middle of the road???
Just to confirm whether he is going to office or coming back from the office.... 

**************************************************
Sardar1: Oye, what will happen if electricity is not discovered?
Sardar2: Nothing Yaar, we have to watch TV in candle light. 

****************************************************
Teacher: "What is common between JESUS, KRISHNA , RAM, GANDHI and BUDHA?"
Sardar: "All were born on government holidays...! !! 
  

Sardar and Bombay

Sardar in airplane going 2 Bombay .. While its landing he shouted: " Bombay ... Bombay " Air hostess said: "Be silent." Sardar: "Ok... Ombay, Ombay"

sadar and miss

Sardar: Miss, Did u call on my mobile?
Teacher: Me? No, why?
Sardar: Yesterday I saw in my mobile- “1 Miss Call".

Sardar and teacher

Teacher: Which is the oldest animal in world?
Sardar: ZEBRA
Teacher: How?
Sardar: Bcoz it is Black & White

Deaf girl and sardar

Sardar: I think that girl is deaf..
Friend: How do u know?
Sardar: I told that I Love her, but she said her chappals are new

Sardar and swimming pool

Sardar built 2 Swimming Pools. And he left one of them unfilled.
When asked, he said,
"Oye, that’s for those who don’t know Swimming.

Sardar's Bill

Sardar: My mobile bill how much?
Call centre girl: Sir, just dial 123 to know current bill status
Sardar: Stupid, not CURRENT BILL, my MOBILE BILL..

oxygen

Teacher:Oxygen is must for Breathing .It was discovered in 1773.
Boy:Thank God I was born after that .
Pehle Paida hota to mar hi jata

Time of study

Lincoln studied under street light.

Mozart composed music in candle light.

Galileo inverted things in the oil lamp.

But one question.

What were these guys doing at the day time?

If doctors made bollywood movies...

the names of movies if doctors made it :

1. Kabhi khansi kabhi jukam

2. kaho naa bukhar hai

3. TB no 1

4. Kal patient ho na ho

5. Hum blood de chuke sanam

Interview

Interviewer: Let me check your word Power...
PopatRao : Ok Sir ......
Interviewer : Tell me the opposite of .....good.
PopatRao: hmmmm..... Bad
Interviewer : Come
PopatRao: Go.
Interviewer : Ugly.
PopatRao: Pichlli.
Interviewer : PICHLLIIIII?
PopatRao: UGLYYYYYYYYY..
Interviewer : Shut Up.
PopatRao: Keep Talking.
Interviewer Ok now stop these all..
PopatRao: now carry on this all
Interviewer :abe...chup ho ja..chup ho ja..chup ho jaaaa
PopatRao:abe bolta rah..bolta rah..bolta rahhh
Interviewer :Areeee yaaar
PopatRao: areeee dushmannnnnn
Interviewer : Get Out.
PopatRao: Come In.
Interviewer : Oh my God.
PopatRao : Oh my Devil.
Interviewer : U r Rejected.
PopatRao: I m selected...Thank u thank u sir

Kismat

Zindagi ek phool jo khil ke murja gaya…
Dil wo sheesha jo toot kar chuur ho chukha…
Soch ek nadhi jo beh chale door……
Nazar ek lehar jo shil tak na pohnch payee…
Dil ne aise chot kayee…………
Kuch samaj na ayee………
Ye kaise kismat hum ne payee…..

Pati aur patni

Pathan Apni Bibi Se Naraaz Hogya
aur Apni BV au Khud Ko Maarny Ka Faisla Kia!
usne Apni KanPatti Par Gun Rakhi
aur Bv Ko Bola: ‘Khush Mat Ho, Agla Number Tera hai!! :)

Sardar and american

American to Sardaji: Hamaray country main 90% shadiyan Email se hoti hain
Sardarji: kamal hai hamaray desh main 100% shadiyan Female se hoti hain

Itna bhi na kiya jaye...

Jam karwa hai magar itna bhi nahi kay piya na jaye,

Zindigi main dard hai magar itna bhi nahi ke jiya na jaye, 

Sms ka charge hai magar, Itna bhi nahi ki kia na jaye...

sardar aur motor

Ek sardar ji ka Electric Engineer ki post k liye interview tha.
Interviewer: Electric motor kaisay chalti hai?
Sardar ji: TorrRrrRrrRrrrrRrrr TorrrRrrrrrrr

Kanjoosi

Sitam sehnay ki hadh hoti hai,
Paas na aane ki hadh hoti hai,
Ruth jane ki hadh hoti hai,
Aik sms to kar day zalim,
Kanjoosi ki bhi hadh hoti hai.

Sardar aur Computer

Sardar:Yar mujhe 1 hathora or keel chahiye computer k lye. 

Sales man: Magar computer me inka kia kam?

Sardar:Oye yar mujhe computer mein windows lagani hai.

Sardar and Lottery

A sardar prays daily for 2 hours, “Hey vaheguru meri lottery lagady.”
After 11 years VaheGuru angrily appeared & said,
"Oye Khote de putar ek vari ticket to le ley”

Sardar and Interview

A sardar on an interview for the post of detective was asked a question - Interviewer - Who killed Gandhiji ? Sardar- Thanks for giving me the job, I will investigate.

chhatri mein chhed

Ek sardar ki chatri me hole tha, kisine pucha,umbrella me hole kyu? Sardar bola,Oye barish ruk jayegi to pata kaise chalega

How to identify a SARDAR JI in class

How to identify a SARDAR JI in class? Simple... Just look who is erasing his notes, When the teacher is cleaning the board!!!

Ideal match

Na wo farishta ho na farishte jaisi ho,
Mujhe talash hai uski jo mere jaisi ho,
Mere DIL ko pehchanti ho bas kafi hai,
Wo koi bhi ho, kahi bhi ho, kaisi bhi ho

Woh sirf meri ho, jo nigahon mein haya rakhti ho,
Umar bhar saath chalne ka irada rakhti ho,

Jo khawaab dene ko qadir ho meri aankhon ko,
Meri mohabbat ko pehchan sake woh aisi ho..!!!

A Wednesday--- Rephrased for a Software Engineer

***All of you who have seen the movie ‘A Wednesday’... ***

Commissioner Rathore : kaun ho tum..??? kya pehcan hai tumhari ?

Unkonwn Caller : Kaun hoon mein...mein vo hu jo aaj commintment karne se darta hai, Mein vo hoon jo aaj ghar jaane se darta ha, ye soch ke kahin ghar wale pehchanne se inkar na kar de...

mein vo hoon jo, aaj job change karta hai to sochta hai ki kahin recession mein mujhe company se na nikal de..

mein vo hoon jiski girlfriend usse friday ko dus bar phone karti hai, "kya kar rahe ho..?? kaam jyada hai..?? thak gaye ho..?? " mera haal poochne ke liye ya kaam poochne ke liye nahi, rathore saab... balki vo ye jaanaa chahti hai ki... kahin hamesha ki tarah end moment pe boss ke bulane pe mein saturday ki date cancel to nahi kar raha...

mein vo hoon jo breakfast ke time pe dinner karta hai, lunch time pe breakfast karta hai, dinner ke time pe lunch karta hai.. vo bhi time mil jae to...

mein vo hoon jo aksar phasta hain kabhi Interviews ke sawaal mey phasta hai , kabhi Badi companiyon ke jaal mey phasta hai, kabhi boss aur client ke bawaal mey fasta hai.

Project aur office ki bheed to dekhi hogi aapne rathore saab... us bheed mein se koi bhi chehra chun lijie.. mein vo hoon.. I'm the same old ..*STUPID ENGINEER*.... [:-)] [;)]  [:)]

SMS

Is ulajhte hue rishte ko koi roop dedo,
Ek khilte hue gulab ko thodi dhup dedo,
Zinda hai hum isliye sms karte hai,
Aap to apne zinda hone ka sabut dedo.

Unki julfen

Baith kar unki julfon k saye me,
swarg jaisa anand aaya,
kambakhat uske baap ne dekh liya,
shaam ko hospital me hi hosh aaya.

Exam

Likho to exam kuch aisa likho ki,
Kalam bhi rone pe majbur hojaye,
Har lafj me dard bhar do itna ki,
Examinar bhi 35 marks dene par majbur ho jaye.....

msg na karke

Msg na karke dil tod diya mera,
ab mobile dafna dena,
Kafan na mile to apna rumal udha dena,
Koi puchhe rog kya tha,
to nazre jhuka k apni Kanjusi bata dena.

Tum hi Tum

Fizaon me tum,
Hawaaon me tum,
Baharon me rum,
Ghaton me tum,
Dhoop me tum,
Chhaon me tum,
Sach suna tha....
Buri AATMA ka koi thikana nahi hota.

Muskurana

Mushkurana har ladki ki adaa hai,
Gaur farmana, Mushkurana har ladki ki adaa hai,
Use jo mohabbat samjh le, wo sabse bada gadha hai.

shayri

Kyun jaagty ho?
Kya sochty ho?
Kuch humse kaho,
Tanha na rho,
Socha na karo,
Ab raat ki aankhen bheeg chaleen
or chand b hai chup jane ko.
Kuch dair mein shabnam ayegi
Pholon ki piyaas bujhane ko

Engg Student

Rehne ki yahan sabki aukat nahi hoti
bina beer aur daaru ke yahan raat nahi hoti
ye engineering college hai mere dost yahan
bina maa bahan ke bat nahi hoti.

Kabir ke dohe aur SW Engineer

Kabir : Aisi baani boliye, man ka aapa khoye
Auron ko sheetal kare, aaphi sheetal hoye

SE: Aisa presentation dijiye, man ka aapa khoye,
Auron ko confuse kare, aaphi confuse hoye


Kabir : Guru Govind doyu khade, kaake laagu paye
Balihari guru aapke, govind diyo bataye

SE : Client aur manager doyu khade, kaake laagu paye
Balihaari client aapke, manager diyo bataye.


Rahim : Rahiman dhaaga prem ka, mat todo chatkaye
Tode se fir Jude na, Jude gaanth pad jaaye

SE : SE confidence manager, mat todo chatkaye
Project to barbaad hoye hi, appraisal mein waat lag jaye.


Kabir : Dheere dheere re mana, dheere sab kuch hoye,
Maali seenche sow ghara, ritu aaye phal hoye

SE : Dheere dheere re project leader, dheere project execute hoye,
Client dikhaye kitni bhi urgency, release deadline ke baad hi hoye..


Kabir : Jab Tun Aaya Jagat Mein , Log Hanse Tu Roye
Aise Karni Na Kari , Pache Hanse Sab roye

SE : Jab project aaye company mein, client hase hum roye,
Aisi karni na Kari , TU hase client roye...


Kabir: Dukh Mein Sumiran Sab Kare , Sukh Mein Kare Na Koye
Jo Sukh Mein Sumiran Kare , Tau Dukh Kahe Ko Hoye

SE: Rush hour mein kaam sab Karen , routine mein kare na koye,
Jo routine mein sab kaam kare, to rush hour kaahe hoye.


Kabir : Pothhi padh padh jag mooya, pandit bhaya na koye,
Dhai aakhar prem ka, padhe so pandit hoye

SE : Coding kar AR jag mooya, programmer bhaya na koye,
Do shabd copy-paste ke, kare so programmer hoye.


Kabir : Chalati chakki dekh ke, diya Kabira roye,
Do paatan ke beechmein, saabut bacha na koye

SE: Client aur manager ko dekhke, engineers saare roye,
Deadline meet karne ke chakkar mein, saabut bacha na koye.






Kabir: Chinta Aisee Dakini, Kat Kaleja Khaye
Vaid Bichara Kya Kare , Kahan Tak Dawa Lagaye

SE: Deadline aisi dakini, man ka tension badhaaye,
Kaam itna ho sar par, time pe complete kaise ho paaye.


Kabir: Maala To Kar Mein Phire , Jeebh Phire Mukh Mahin
Manua To Chahun Dish Phire, Yeh To Sumiran Nahin

SE: Engineer gaye sab cigarette peene, Leader phire office maahin,
Cubicle se jyaada time canteen pe rahe, yeh to dedication naahin

Secrets behind successful marriages

Once X asked Y, "What is the secret behind your happy married life?"
Y said, "You should share responsibilities with due love and respect each other. Then absolutely there will be no problems."

X asked, "Can you explain?"
Y said, "In my house, I take decisions on bigger issues where as my wife decides on smaller issues. We do not interfere in each other's decisions."

Still not convinced, X asked Y "Give me some examples"

Y said," Smaller issues like which car we should buy, how much amount to save, when to visit home town, which Sofa, air conditioner, refrigerator to buy, monthly expenses, whether to keep a maid or not etc are decided by my wife. I just agree to it"

X asked, "Then what is your role?"
Y said," My decisions are only for very big issues. Like, whether Musharraff should stay in the power or not, whether America should attack Iran, whether Britain should lift sanction over Zimbabwe, whether to widen African economy, whether Sachin Tendulkar should retire etc etc.

Do you know one thing, my wife NEVER objects to any of these".

some questions

American President Mr. Bu** went to a school to interact with the children.
After having a brief talk with them, he asked if they had any questions to ask him.
 

One boy raised his hand and stood up:
   Bush: What is your name?
   John: John
   Bush: What is your question?
   John: Sir, I have 3 questions

1. Why did America attack Iraq without the approval of UNO?

2. Where is Osama?

3. Why does America support Pakistan so much?

   Bush: You are an intelligent student, John.       (Just then the bell rang for recess)
   Bush: Oh dear students, we will continue after the recess.

 After the recess:
   Bush: OK children, where were we? Oh yes … So anybody wants to ask any question?

Jimmy raises his hand
   Bush: What is your name?
   Jimmy: Jimmy
   Bush: What is your question?
   Jimmy: Sir, I have 5 questions

1. Why did America attack Iraq without the approval of UNO?

2. Where is Osama?

3. Why does America support Pakistan so much?

4. Why did recess bell ring 15 minutes before the scheduled time?

5. AND where is John?

Missing report for wife

A man went to police station for filing report for his missing wife:

Man:                      I lost my wife (misty)
Inspector:           What is her height
Man:                     I never noticed
Inspector:           Slim or healthy
Man:                     Not slim can be healthy
Inspector:           Colour of eyes
Man:                     Never noticed
Inspector:           Colour of hair
Man:                     Changes according to season
Inspector:           What was she wearing
Man:                     Saree/suit/ I don’t remember exactly
Inspector:           Was somebody with her ?????????
Man:                     Yes my Labrador dog, Romeo,  tied with a golden chain, height 30 inches, healthy, blue eyes, blackish brown hair, his left foot thumb nail is slightly broken, he never barks, wearing a golden belt studded with blue balls, he likes non veg food, we eat together, we jog together…. And the man started crying…..
Inspector:  Lets search for the dog first !!!!!!!

Goggle suggestions for Indians and Americans

Just type "Why are indians" and "Why are americans" on google india.

Santa banta

Banta: Dad ladke school mein mujhe GAY bulate hain...
Santa: Unko gal mein ek Tight slap marna
Banta: I can't do that.
Santa: Why?
Banta: He's so CUTE na.....

Goat and Tiger

One day a goat with her small child went into forest for food. Unfortunately

They forget their way back to home and struck in the forest at the night. A Big lion came

And saw the goat and her child . The goat took her child nearer to her and

Thought that lion will definitely eat both of them. Lion came nearer to them and

Put his hands on the child and pampered her and told that "No fear My Dear. I don't have

Any sisters so now onwards you are my sister and I am your brother". And he gave chocolates biscuits to the child and ask goat to come to his room with his husband for lunch

And also ask her to celebrate rakshabandhan with him and gave her his visiting card

And he promised the goat that "tell me if any one attack you or threaten you". And he

Left the place.

Finally the goat got surprised and told her child....

...

..

..

..

..

..

..

..

..

..

..

..

..

..

..

...

..

..

..

..

"I think Elections are coming"

Funny Marriage one liners

• Marriage is give and take. You'd better give it to her or she'll take it anyway.
• My wife and I always compromise. I admit I'm wrong and she agrees with me.
• successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person.
•  It doesn't matter how often a married man changes his job, he still ends up with the same boss.
• Why do couples hold hands during their wedding? It's a formality just like two boxers shaking hands before the fight begins!
• It's funny when people discuss Love Marriage vs Arranged. It's like asking someone, if suicide is better or being murdered.
• There is only one perfect wife in the world and every neighbor has it!

Husband & Wife

Wife: Darling today is our anniversary, what should we do?
Husband: Let us stand in silence for 2 minutes.

Long life

Man: Is there any way for long life?
Dr: Get married.
Man: Will it help?
Dr: No, but then the thought of long life will never come.

Funny One Liners!!! ;)

• Laziness is nothing more than the habit of resting before you get tired.
• Those who can't laugh at themselves leave the job to others.
• You're getting old when you enjoy remembering things more than doing them.
• Real friends are the ones who survive transitions between address books.
• Saving is the best thing. Especially when your parents have done it for you.
• Wise men talk because they have something to say; fools talk because they have to say something.
• They call our language the mother tongue because the father seldom gets to speak!
• There is only one perfect child in the world and every mother has it.

marriage relationship

Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right and
the other is the husband!

Worries

A woman worries about her future till she gets a husband,
A man never worries about his future until he gets a wife !! ..

Contact Us

Please  leave your valuable comments here... If you have any suggestions or if you want me to post jokes/SMS on any particular topic of your choice or any other link of your choice Please leave a comment here...


Mail : mailme.blogadda[at]gmail.com

Enjoy the surfing...

Shayri

Koi acha lage to use pyar mat karna
Uske liye neenden bekar mat karna
Do din to aayenge khusi se milne
Tisre din kahenge mera intazaar mat karna

PJ

1) what is the cube of 13?
  Its : SUROOR
  wandaring how?
  thats bcoz....
  TERA * TERA * TERA = SUROOR

2) ek aadmi k 6 fingers thi,use log hanuman bulate the...batao kyon?
kyonki uska naam hanuman tha..

3) who was the 1st Indian woman fly abroad?
..........sita with ravan

4) wht did the kangaroo say when she found her baby missing?
…….Aaila!!!!! kisne mera pocket maar liya

5) wht do u call a really colourful tamilian???
Ans: Rangamannar rangrajan

6) n elephant falls in luv wid n ant. but Ant’s parents r against their marrige…guess y??
they gave a solid reason…**Ladke k data bahar hai**

7)ones sardarji saw a very soni kudi in the market & thought..
……kash k ye meri maa hondi to main v inna sona honda..

8) Full form of MATHS????

Mentally Affected Teacher Harassing Students…

9) what wud u call a girl who never laughs??
Ans: hasina

Winner Vs Loser

Winners have dreams;
Losers have schemes.

Winners see the grains;
Losers see the pain.

Winners see the potential;
Losers see the past.

Winners make it happen;
Losers let it happen.

Winners see possibilities;
Losers see problems.

Winners makes commitments;
Losers makes promises.

Winners are a part of the team;
Losers are apart from the team.

Winner always has a programmed
Loser always has an excuse.

Winner says "Let me do it for you";
Loser says "That is not my job".

Winners say "I must do something";
Losers say "Something must be done".

Winner is always a part of the answer;
Loser is always a part of the problem.

Winner sees an answer for every problem;
Loser sees a problem for every answer.

Winners believe in win/win;
Loser believe for them to win, someone has to lose

Happy Diwali

Wishing you and your dear ones
With dancing eyes and hearts’ delight
What else can beautify your home
But the flame of a lovely Diwali light?

FRIEND VS BEST FRIEND

Friend: calls your parents by mr. and mrs.
Best friend: calls your parents dad and mom.

Friend: has never seen you cry
Best friend: has always had the best shoulder to cry on

Friend: never asks for anything to eat or drink
Best friend: opens the fridge and makes herself at home

Friend: asks you to write down your number.
Best friend: they ask you for their number
(cuz they can't remember it)

Friend: borrows your stuff for a few days then gives it back.
Best friend: has a closet full of your stuff

Friend: only knows a few things about you
Best friend: could write a biography on your life story

Friend: will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing
Best friend: will always go with you

Dost

Tufano mein Kashti ko Kinaare bhi milte hai,
Jahan mein Logone ko Sahaare bhi milte hai,
Duniyan mein sabse Pyari hai Zindagi,
kuch log Zindagi se bhi Pyaare milte hai

Software Gita

:HEY PARTH ........

Increment nahin mila, bura hua

Salary cut ho rahi hai, bura ho raha hai

Retrenchment hoga, wo bhi bura hi hoga...

Tum pichhla review na hone ka paschataap na karo

Tum agle review na hone ki chinta na karo

Recession chal raha hai...

Tumhari pocket se kya gaya jo tum rote ho ?

Tum company ke liye kya business laye the jo tumne kho diya ?

Tumne aisa kaun sa product banaya tha jo scrap hogaya ?

Tum koi experience le kar nahin aaye the...

Jo experience liya company se liya...

Jo project kiya company ko diya...

Degree le kar aaye, experience lekar chale...

Jo function aaj tumhara hai,

Kal kisi aur ka tha... parson kisi aur ka hoga...

Tum isse apna samajh kar magn ho rahe ho

Bas yahi khushi tumhari tension ka karran hai...

Kyon wyarth tension lete ho, kis se wyarth darte ho

Kaun tumhein nikaal sakta hai ?

Policy change company ka rule hai

Jise tum policy Change kehte ho, Wahi to trick hai...

Ek pal mein tum million

asan aur muskil

Dunia Me 7 Cheezain Asan Hai Or Mushkil Bhi. ?????????????????

1.Dosti Karna Aasan......................Nibhana Mushkil.

2.Pyar Karna Aasan.........................Pana Mushkil.

3.Bharoosa Todana Aasan.................Karna Mushkil.

4.Yaad Karna Aasan……………...........Bhulna Mushkil.

5.Jhoot Kehna Aasan................Sach Sunna Mushkil.

6.Rulana Aasan...............................Hasa

na Mushkil.

7.Ap ko SCRAP Bhejna Aasan.......Reply Ana Mushkil.

Happy Diwali

laxmi devi ka noor aapke upar barse
har koi apse loan lene ko tarse.
bhagvan aapko de thele bhar bhar k not
k aap chiller pane ko tarse .
wish u very happy dipawali

Indian Titanic

If the Titanic was made in India..

1) There would be 10 times as many people on the ship

2) There would be a song with Kate Winslet in a white saree and of course
singing in the rain

3) The movie would be called "Pyar Kiya To Marna Kya"

4) Hero and Heroine would float in cold water for days and still survive,
but the villian would die in the first dip

5) The iceberg would be sent by the heroine's father to teach the hero a
lesson

6) None of the women would float due to heavy designer sarees.

And last but not in least

7) Half of the rescue boats would be reserve for "SC/ST/OBC" ....

Sardar ji

Aaj Tak(news channel) gets news that 100 sardars are killed in a
train accident at Amritsar station. Only one sardar left alive.

The correspondent goes to him and asks, Sardarji how did it happen?

Sardar: oh ji pucho mat.. sab kuch sahi tha sab log platform par khade
gaadi ki wait kar rahe they. Achanak announcement hui ki shatabdee
express 2 no. platform par aa rahi hai. Jaise hi sab ne suna ki gaddi
PLATFORM PAR aa rahi hai, sab log apni jaan bachane ke liye patri par
kood
gaye. Aur tabhi gaddi patri par aa gayi.

Aaj tak: Thank god. Aap ne samajhdari dikhayee. Aap patri par nahin
koode.

Sardar: oye nahin ji main to suicide karne ki liye patri par hi leta
tha. Jaise hi announcement hui toh main platform par chad gaya.

Five friends

Five friends lived in a room, Namely MAD, BRAIN, FOOL, NOBODY, SOMEBODY.
One day SOMEBODY killed NOBODY. At that time BRAIN was in bathroom, MAD called police.
MAD: Is it police station ???
Police: Yes, what is the matter ???
MAD: SOMEBODY killed NOBODY.
Police: Are you mad?
MAD: Yes, I"m MAD.
Police: Don`t you have BRAIN.
MAD: BRAIN is in bathroom....
Police: you FOOL...
MAD: No, FOOL is reading this joke.

Before and after marriage

Just read as instructed :

Before Marriage .... ..

Boy : Yes. At last. It was so hard to wait.
Girl : Do you want me to leave?
Boy : NO! Don't even think about it.
Girl : Do you love me?
Boy : Of course! Over and over!
Girl : Have you ever cheated on me?
Boy : NO! Why are you even asking?
Girl : Will you kiss me?
Boy : Every chance I get!
Girl : Will you hit me?
Boy : Are you crazy! I'm not that kind of person!
Girl : Can I trust you?
Boy : Yes.
Girl : Darling!

After Marriage ...... SIMPLY READ FROM BOTTOM TO TOP

aane wale pal ka pata nahi

Zindagi hai chohti , har pal mein khush raho...
Office me khush reho, ghar mein khush raho..
Aaj paneer nahi hai, daal mein hi khush raho,
Aaj gym jane ka waqt nahi, do kadam chal ke he khush raho..

Aaj Dosto ka sath nahi, TV dekh ke hi khush raho..
Ghar ja nahi sakte to phone kar ke hi khush raho...
Aaj koi naraaz hai, uske iss andaz mein bhi khush raho..
Jise dekh nahi sakte uski awaz mein hi khush raho...

Jise paa nahi sakte uski yaad mein he khush raho
MBA karne ka socha tha, S/W mein he khush raho...
Laptop na mila to kya, Desktop mein hi khush raho..
beeta hua kal ja chuka hai, usse meethi yaadein hai,unme hi khush raho..

aane wale pal ka pata nahi.

Parrot and mango

A parrot goes to a shopkeeper and asks ... 'Aam hai kya?'
The shopkeeper says ... 'Nahi. Hum Aam nahi bechte.'
Next day at the same time, the parrot goes again and asks him ...'Aam hai kya ?'
He gets a little irritated and says... 'Aare Bola na, Hum 'Aam nahi Bechte'
On the third day, the parrot goes again and asks him 'Aam hai kya ?'
He gets wild and yells ...'Bola na naahi. Abhi vapas aaya to tumhare sar ke upar hathoda marunga '

The next day,the parrot comes again and asks him ..'hathoda hai kya?'
The shopkeeper says ... 'Nahi'
The parrot then asks ... 'Aam hai kya ?'
The next day parrot again goes to shopkeeper and asks "Aam hai kya??"
The shopkeeper is ready now....
He quickly pulls a hammer and hitz the parrot on the face.
The parrot looses all his teeth
But determined, parrot again goes 2 the shopkeeper next day n asks

Scroll Down





"AAM KA JUICE HAI KYA???"-

Helicoptor Story !

A helicopter was flying around above Seattle when an electrical malfunction disabled all of the aircraft's electronic navigation and communications equipment. Due to the clouds and haze, the pilot could not determine the helicopter's position.The pilot saw a tall building, flew towards it, circled, and held up a handwritten sign in large letters - "WHERE AM I?"

People in the tall building quickly responded to the aircraft, drew a large sign, and held it in a building window. "YOU ARE IN A HELICOPTER."

The pilot smiled, waved, looked at his map, found his directions, and flew to Seattle airport safely.

The co-pilot asked "How did you manage to find your way?".
Pilot said "I knew that tall building had to be MICROSOFT, because they gave me an answer that was technically correct but completely useless"

Jiske dil tut jate hai uska general knowledge weak q ho jata hai??????
....
.....
......
............

arey socho socho.......

??????


???????

thoda dimaag par jor lagavo..........

------

-----

??????

??????


Bcoz jab dil hi tut gaya,,,to phir 'GK' kya kare????

What is the question?

A railway station beggar meets another beggar.
A software engineer meets another software engineer.
Both of them ask the same question to each other.
What is the question?



























So, which platform are you working on?"
can be seen here

all 5 of us

A hen and her 3 little chickens were trying to cross a busy highway.
After great efforts they all managed to cross it. One of the little ones yells out happily-
"Wow....after so much efforts, all 5 of us managed to cross"....

Q). Why does the little one say "all 5 of us" ????

Think a little bit ....... Its easy !

SCROLL DOWN FOR THE ANS........


.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.
.

.

.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
..
.
.

.
.
.
.
.
..
.

..
.
.
.
..
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
ANS:

ARRE BACHCHE HAIN ...

KUCH BHI BOL DETE HAIN ...

unko ginti kaha aati hai …

Ek baar ek aadmi ek auto mein baithta hai aur ghar le jaane ko bolta hai..
Autowala, yeh dekhkar ki aadmi sheher mein naya hai, bahut ghuma phira ke le jaata hai aur bahut charge kar deta hai.
Ghar pahunchte pahunchte bahut der ho jaati hai aur andhera ho jaata hai.
Aadmi pehle se hi bahut frustrated hai aur ghar jaake dekhta hai ki bijli nahi hai.
Par aadmi ko sab kuch saaf saaf dikhayee deta hai.
Kaise???
.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

Kyonki autowala aadmi ko ULLOO bana deta hai aur usko raat ko sab kuch saaf saaf dikhta hai.

Gulshan grocer

Gulshan Grover is riding a bike at the velocity of light.

On the way he offers a lift to a stranger.


Stranger: "Sir, can I know your name please"

Gulshan: "I am Gulshan Grocer"

Stranger: "Grocer? Sure you dont mean Gulshan Grover??"

Gulshan: "No it is Grocer"


Now tell me why did Gulshan say so...

.

.

.

.

scroll down for the ultimate PJ

.

.

.

.

Further…

.

.

.

Little further...

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

ANS: Because at the speed of light V=C

Vastav mein hero

Ram ne Sita se Vivaah kiya,
Ravan ne Sita ka Apaharan kiya,
Hanuman ne Sita ko Bachaya,
To ab ye Batao ki Vastav mein Hero Kaun Hai?

. . . . . . . . . . .

Scroll down for the answer

. . . . . . . . . . .
. . . . . . . . . . .
. . . . . . . . . . .
. . . . . . . . . . .
. . . . . . . . . . .
. . . . . . . . . . .
. . . . . . . . . . .
. . . . . . . . . . .
. . . . . . . . . . .
. . . . . . . . . . .
. . . . . . . . . . .
. . . . . . . . . . .
. . . . . . . . . . .
. . . . . . . . . . .
. . . . . . . . . . .
. . . . . . . . . . .
. . . . . . . . . . .
. . . . . . . . . . .
. . . . . . . . . . .
. . . . . . . . . . .
. . . . . . . . . . .
. . . . . . . . . . .
. . . . . . . . . . .
. . . . . . . . . . .
. . . . . . . . . . .
. . . . . . . . . . .
. . . . . . . . . . .
. . . . . . . . . . .
. . . . . . . . . . .
. . . . . . . . . . .
. . . . . . . . . . .
. . . . . . . . . . .
. . . . . . . . . . .
. . . . . . . . . . .
. . . . . . . . . . .
. . . . . . . . . . .
. . . . . . . . . . .
. . . . . . . . . . .

Sanjay Dutt !!! :-)


SAWAL theek se padho !

ajab prem ki gajab kahani

A pig fell in love with hen!!!!
1 day they kissed each other!!!
Next day the pig died of Bird Flu and HEN died of swine Flu!!! :)
AJAB PREM KI GAJAB KAHANI !!!

swarg ki apsara

Woh kahte hain ki hamari biwi swarg ki Apsara hai,
Hum ne kaha khushnaseeb ho bhai, hamari to abhi Jinda hai...

husband & wife

Husband to Hotel Manager: "Jaldi chalo! meri biwi khidki se kud kar jaan dena chahti hai"
Manager: "What can I do?
Husband: "Kamine, khidki nahi khul rahi hai."

love and arrange marriage

Why love marriage is better than Arranged????
B'coz a "KNOWN DEVIL" is better than an "UNKNOWN GHOST".

husband & wife

Wife - Shadi ki raat tum ne jab mera ghunghat uthaya to kaisi lagti thi..
Husband - Mai to mar hi jata agar mujhe hanuman chalisa na yaad hoti..!!

kunware

Life may hamesha Haste raho, muskrate raho, gaate raho, gungunate raho...
thaki tumhe dekh kar hi log samaj jaye ki……………
Tum... "KUWARE" ho…..

Worries

"Funny but true fact !!
A woman worries about her future till she gets a husband,
A man never worries about his future until he gets a wife !! ..

Faisla apka

Apni Biwi ko apni 100% kamai dene se 10% Sukh milta hai.
Kisi doosri ko apni kamai ka 10% dene pe 100% sukh milta hai
Paisa apka ... Faisla apka ...

PJ

Once there was a bus conductor, who was very rude to his passengers.One

day a young girl, tried to board the bus, but he didn't stop the bus.

Unfortunately the young girl came under the bus and died on

the spot. Angry passengers took the conductor to the police station,who in

turn took him to the court.

The judge gave him capital punishment.

He was taken to the electrocution chamber. There was a single chair in

the center of the room and a single banana peel at one corner of the

room.

The conductor was strapped to the chair and high voltage current was

given

to him. But to everyone's amazement,

he survived. The judge decided to set him free, and he returned to his

profession.

After a few months, this time, a middle aged woman tried to board the

bus but the conductor didn't stop the bus.Unfortunately, the

middle aged woman came under the bus and died on the spot.

Again angry passengers took him to the police station, who in turn took

him to the court. The judge took one look at the conductor and gave him

capital punishment. The Bus conductor was taken to the same electrocution

chamber where there was a single chair in the center of the room and a

single

banana peel at one corner of the room. He was strapped to the chair and

high

voltage current was given to him. This time also to everyone's

amazement, he survived.

A couple of months later,

an elderly gentleman tried to board the bus. This time the Bus

conductor, remembering his earlier experiences, stopped the bus.

Unfortunately the

elderly gentleman slipped and died due to his injuries. The conductor

was then to the court, to the same judge.

Though he hadn't done anything wrong, but considering his past record

the judge decided to set an example and gave him capital punishment.

The Bus conductor was again taken to the same electrocution chamber

where there was a single chair in the center of the room and a single

banana

peel at one corner of the room. He was strapped to the chair and high

voltage

current was given to him.

This time he died instantly !!!!!!!!!!!

..

...

...

...

..

..The question is why didn't he die on the first two occasions, but died

instantly the third time??

think hard

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

common ..............

.

.

.

.

.

.


tired ???....

ok........ there is the Answer............

During the first two times,

the conductor was a Bad Conductor,

therefore electricity didn't pass through him.

But during the third time, he was a good conductor ,

so electricity passed through him freely and he died!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Obviously you gotta revise your science chapter on

Electricity ???

OK, OK....Relax.....No violence please...courageous readers!!!!

Who is the BEST ( Funny Jokes )

Who is the BEST - Infosys, Wipro or TCS? One day, three consultants, one from Wipro, one from Infosys and one from TCS, went out for a walk. "Why don't we prove who is the best among ourselves?" Why not, said the other two. The Infosian said "Let's have a test. Whoever makes this monkey laugh, works for the best firm". Being a pure logical strategist, the person from TCS tried to make the monkey Laugh by telling jokes. The monkey stayed still. As a more practical consultant, the Wipro guy tried to make funny gestures... No good, the monkey stayed put. Now, comes the Infosian. Being the practical guy he was always trained to be, he whispered something into the monkey's ear, and it burst out laughing at him. The other two were astonished. So the Wipro guy said "OK, let's take another test. Let's make this monkey cry!!" So there they went again, applying the same methods as before. The TCS guy narrated sad stories, the Wipro guy made sad gestures, and they failed again. Then, the Infosian again whispered something into the monkey's ear and oh! It started crying, patting the Infosian's shoulder! The other two just could not believe their eyes! So the tcs guy said "OK, you've won twice. If you can win just this one, we will bow to you. Let's make this monkey run". And he barked at the monkey and ordered him to run. Of course, it stayed where it was.. The Wipro guy, true to his type, pushed and prodded the monkey- still No go. So...here comes Infosian, again, and whispers into the monkey's ear. The Monkey just takes off! It runs and runs as fast as it can, as if it was scared to death! The other two surrendered. They Said: "OK, we give up. You're the best among us, and you work for the Best firm of the three. But please, please tell us your secret," they begged him. "Well", said the Infosian , "The first time I made it laugh, I told I work for Infosys . The next time, I told the monkey how much I get paid ...so it started crying. And then I told that I was here for recruitment !!!"

before and after marriage

Before marriage:
Roses are red, sky is blue,
O my darling! I love you…

After Marriage:
Roses are dead,
I have flu,
don’t come near me,
Paray hatt tuu,

happy birthday

I’m so blessed 2 have a friend like u
This comes with many
Loving thoughts & warm wishes
I send 2 u,
May ur day be filled with laughter
On this ur special day & may the finest things
In life always come
Ur way happy birthday!

Marriages are made in heaven

Q: If marriages are made in heaven,
than what are made in Hell?

Answer: The days after marriage!

Husband's definition

A person who surrenders when he’s WRONG,
is HONEST.
A person who SURRENDERS when not SURE,
is WISE.
A person who surrenders even if he’s RIGHT,
is a HUSBAND.!

Marriage SMS

Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right and the other is the husband.

Wedding

Marriage is that relation between
man and women in which
the Independence is Equal,
the Dependence mutual and
the Obligation Reciprocal”.
Best wishes for Happy Wedding Life

Marriage SMS

They call our language the mother tongue because the father seldom gets to speak !!

April Fool

Sine me dil,
Dil me dard,
Dard me yaqin,
Yaqin me khyal,
Khayal me khwab,
Khuwab me tasvir
Tasvir me sirf ap!
Itna Darawna khuwab?
Baap re Baap

April Fool

Tamam bewaqufon
ko ittala di jati hai…
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Aap to aise parh rahe hen
jaise ye ittala aap k liye ho

happy birthday

Flying papers,
multi colours of balloon,
delicated blossom,
fantastic people,
love and laughter.
What it describes? HAPPY BIRTHDAY.

happy birthday

if kisses were rain id send u showers,
if fun was time id send u hrs,
if u needed a friend id send u me!
*Happy Birthday To You Sweetheart*

happy birthday

How do you expect me
to remember your birthday,
when you never look any older?:)

HBD

The Blossoming "ROSES",
The Rising "SUN",
The Sizzling "BIRDS",
The Morning "MIST", "RAIN", & "ME"
Wish You A Very "HAPPY BIRTHDAY".

HBD

Its a nice feeling when you know
that someone likes you,
someone thinks about you,
someone needs you;
but it feels much better when
you know that someone
never ever forgets your birthday.
“HAPPY BIRTHDAY“.

HBD

A smile is a curve that
sets everything straight
and wipes wrinkle away
hope u share a lots and
receive a lots 4 days 2 come

happy birthday :-)

HBD

May you have all the joy your heart can hold,
All the smiles a day can bring,
All the blessings a life can unfold,
May you have Gods best in everything.

Wishing u a Happy Birthday

Happy FriendshipDay

friendship is not a rose that lives for a day,
its a tree that grows forever,
so keep watering the tree daily with the water called remembrance,
happy friendship day..

Happy Friendship day

friendship is not history to forget,
not maths to calculate..
not a language to learn,
it's only the chemistry that reacts
between 2 hearts.
happy freindship day..

SMS

Unki Gali Se Hum Nikle, Ajeeb Ittefaq Tha, Phool To Feka Unho Ne, Lekin Gamla Bhi Sath Tha.

1000 mein EK

Wife: Mere Irade Bade Nek Hai, Aap 1000 Mein Ek Hain...
Husbnd: Mera Dimag Bada Tez Hai, Pehle Yeh Bata, Baki 999 Kaun.Hai

Kya din the

Woh bhi kya din the jab log humain diwano ki tarah kiss kiya karate the….
par haaye hamari phooti kismat us waqt hum 2 saal ke hua karte the…

Hath Peele

jawani ke din chamkile ho gaye,
husn ke tevar nukeele ho gaye,
hum ijhar karne me thode dheloe ho gaye,
aur udhar unke hath peele ho gaye!.

HANGMAN

A boy comes running into the kitchen and says,
"Mommy, mommy! Grandpa hanged himself in the Bed room!"
His mother runs into the living room, and sees no one there.
Angrily, she says,
"Listen. You should never lie like that to me again, do you understand"
"I'm sorry," says the boy. "I was just kidding. Actually he hanged himself in the living Room."

Jaan

Dil cheez hai kya jana,
yeh jaan bhi tumhari hai,
jaan Ie mat lena,
kyonki abhi meri biwi kunwari hai
[:)] [:)]

Fridge ya bathroom

minku: mummy mummy kal rat jadu ho gaya!!! Meine Bathroom ka darwaja khola to light  apne aap jal gayi...
mummy: Buddhu tu phir fridge mein susu kar aaya...

old S.E.

Old software engineers never die...
they Just "REBOOT".

Label cloud on blogger

Blogger has now introduce a new facility of having the labels in cloud format, which will save space on your blog and also the look will be good. By using cloud, user of your blog can know which label has got highest no. of posts. To use this feature just go to "add Widget" and select label and then select "show as cloud" and it's done.
Once you open Label Widget you will see folowing window:

Sardarji

A Sardarji goes to see Jurassic Park Movie.
When the Dinosaurs start approaching, he hides under his seat.
His friend asks him 'kyon sardarji, kya baat hai? Dar kyon lag raha hai cinema hi to hai'
Sardarji replies ;Aadmi hoon... aur akkal bhi hai,......
pata hai ki cinema hai, "lekin voh to janwar hai", usko kya pata

Shadi aur mobile

Shaadi karne k bad
aur mobile lene k bad
ek hi baat ka afsos hota hai
..........................................................
Thodi der ruk jaata to accha model mil jaata

Wah dosti !!!

Khayaalon ko kisi ahat ki aas rehti hai,
Nigaahon ko kisi surat ki talaash rehti hai..
Tere bina koi kami to nahi ae mere dost,
Bas tere bina galiwali Jamadarni udas rehti hai....

Apke liye Hamari Dua

Meri hamesha yehi dua hai aap kay liye...
ki aap hamesha hanstay raho, muskratay, Khilkhilatay raho....
mujhe kya log tumhein Pagal kahenge ;) ;)

Sardar' celebratioon

 "Why was the sardar celebrating? "
Because he took just 20 days to finish a puzzle, when in the box it was written"for 3-5 years."

April Foooooooool

Hey U Know Which is the best day to propose a girl... April 1
U Know Why??
If she accept its your luck otherwise just tell April Foooool
*****************************************************
31st March Or 1st April
Fool is Fool doesn't matter.
Wishing very happy, prosperous and joyful
Fool Day to the King of Fools !!!!
*****************************************************
A study has proved that all fools use their THUMB while reading a SMS.
Now its 2 late dont try 2 change ur finger! Catch another fool!

******* Happy April Fool Day *******

*****************************************************
I want U to know dat U are very important 2 me, It's impossible 4 me 2 live without U even 4 a second!U r my life & I can feel U everywhere. DON'T MIND Iam TALKING ABT OXYGEN.

******* Happy April Fool Day *******

*****************************************************
U R the one who is CHARMING
U R the one who is INTELLIGENT
U R the one who is CUTE
and I am the One who is spreading these RUMORS.

******* Happy April Fool Day *******

*****************************************************
Tu thi paas tab tha ek bahana jeene ka,
Ab tu nahi to is jeendegi ko bhi khair jeena kya!
Ab to teri yadon mein hi hai mashgul hum,..
..Khair woh baat alag ki har lamho mein bante hai april fool hum..

*****************************************************
n hasino se Rasme Wafa
or Dil Lagana sarasar bhool hai…
Jis din ye ikrar karen mohabbat ka,
Samajh lena us din APRIL FOOL hai…!
*****************************************************
FOOL ne
FOOLon ki
FOOLWARI main
FOOL ke saath wish kiya hai
u r the most
BEAUTIFOOL
WONDERFOOL
and ColorFOOL
amngst all FOOL’s
HAPPY APRIL FOOL’s DAY

Have a nice foolish day ahead….
*****************************************************