Good news Bad news

Doctor : Mrs.Preeto, good news for you ! 
.
.
Girl : What do u mean by Mrs. ? I'm Ms. Preeto. 
.
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Doctor: Ms. Preeto, bad news for you . 

Samajhe to karo like !! :)

Red signal

Hawaldar: Tumne RED signal nahi dekha?

Car driver: Red signal to dekha.. lekin apko nahi dekha tha :)

Qoutes

When Your Cup Is Overflowing,
Do Not Start Drinking From Your Saucer.
Share It With Others.
Whether Its Wealth, Happiness Or Knowledge. 

Ek dua

Rahe salamat zindagi unki,
Jo meri khushi ki faryad karte h.

A khuda unhe 100 janam ki sans dena  
jo 1 lamha b mujhe yaad karne me barbad karte hai..

TAJMAHAL KE KUCH ANJANE AUR DARDNAK SACH

"TAJMAHAL KE KUCH ANJANE AUR DARDNAK SACH"

1. Mumtaz  Shahjahan ki 7 biviyon me se 4th biwi thi.

2. Shahjahan ne mumtaj se shadi karne ke liye uske pehle husband ko maar diya tha.

3. Mumtaj ki maut uski 14th delivery ke karan hui.

4. Uske baad shahjaha ne mumtaj ki bahan se shadi kar li thi.

5. Tajmahal banane wale sare karigaron ke shahjaha ne berehami se haath katwa diye the.

Kya ab bhi aapko lagta hai ki Tajmahal sacche pyaar ki nishani hai?

Tajmahal sirf bhartiya kala ka ek ajooba hai.  Khud socho aur share karke dusron ko bhi sochne pe mazboor kardo. It's 100% true.

Why Do We Drink Water

Why Do We Drink Water?
 . . . . . . . . . . .
 . . . . . . . . . . .

Bcoz We Can't Eat Water!!

No Claps Plz..!

 I Know I'm Genius From Childhood. :-P :-D \;-):-P

Sab waqt ka pher hai

सब वक्त का फेर है न तुम गलत न मैं सही
वक्त बदला तुम बदले तो हम भी बदल गए.
तुम्हे भुलाना इतना भी मुश्किल न था
यादों की खुराक कड़वी थी दुनियादारी के पानी से निगल गए.
तय तो बहुत कुछ था पर हो न सका
जाना कहीं और था कहीं और निकल गए

Shayri

Door se woh salaam kar gaye

apni yadon ka hume gulam kar gaye.

Apni zindagi girwi rakh kar khareed tha jise

Aaj wo hi hume nilam kar gaye..

Mistakes on a resume

Note: Please don't misinterpret my 14 jobs as "job-hopping". I have never quit a job.

Reasons for leaving the last Job:
"Responsibility makes me nervous."
"The company made me a scapegoat - just like my three previous employers."

Speacial Request:
 "Please call me after 5:30 because I am self-employed and my employer does not know I am looking for another job."

"My goal is to be a aerospace scientist. But since I have no training in aerospace, I suppose I should try stock brokerage."

Only GOD can understand us !!!!!!!!

Swarg k dwar pe 3 log khade the....

God : Sirf 1 hi andar ja sakta hai....

1st : Main Brahmin hu, sari umar aapki seva ki hai. Swarg pe mera hak hai.... Bhagwan Kuch Nahi bole

2nd : Main Doctor hu, sari umar logo ki seva ki hai. Swarg pe mera haq hai..... Bhagwan Kuch Nahi bole

3rd : Main sari umar Private Company mein kam kiya hai.... .......

Bhagwan Bole :Bus......... aage kuch mat bol.... Rulaayega kya pagle..? Andar aa ja......... Tere forwarded mails, follow-ups, promotion nahi milne ka wo 6 saal, month end, quarter end, year ends me woh night shifts, data nahi milne se doosra departments se panga, CTC se zaada deductions, raat me ghar jane ka lafda , family ko na time dene ki frustrations, boss se meetings, delivery dates, week ends mein kaam etc etc. mere ko senti kar diya re..aja jaldi andar aja.....

Pass ho ya Fail

Dad : xams mein pass ho ya fail, tumhe new bike dila dunga..
Son: thanks ..
Dad : pass hua to PULSAR, college jane ke liye ,,,
   FAIL hua to RAJDOOT dudh bechne ke liye ..

Wise saying

Wise saying..
if u dont succeed in first try...
then erase the proof tht u evr tried..
self respect bhi koi cheej hoti hai..

Break Up Tip

"Breakup tip"
how 2 create d biggest doubt in ur lover's mind 4 urself!!?
Very Simple..
just suddenly msg dem ..
"I luv u too"..
Game over..

Height of escapism

prof: whr is ur assignment??
student: sir, I lost it while fighting with students who said that
you were not the best prof in college....

Meaning of friendship

A 5yr old boy asked his friend : what is friendship?
She replied: friendship is wen u rob my chocolates everyday frm my bag
& I still keep it in d same place.

importance of 1

1 stone is enough to break a glass..
1 sentence is enough 2 break a heart ..
1 second is enough is 2 fall in love and
1 sms is enough is 2 keep relations in touch..

Discovery on Moon

"Apart from water we have discovered presence of whales and shark also on MOON" -- PAK
"Space shuttle launched by Pak found in Arabian Sea" -- NASA

You are the NEXT !!

Ek Ladki apni friends se kahti hai:
Jab Bhi mein kisi marriage mein jati hun, sari Old ladies mujhe kehti hain "you are next" !!
But now they have stopped this, since I started saying same tto them @ Funerals. !!

Good Morning

Do you know the meaning of morning?
Morning means one More innings given by GOD to
PLAY and WIN what you missed yesterday... So Good Morning!!

Hai re Dahej !!

Machhar ne ek admi ko kata, admi: Din mein bhi kat rahe ho...
Machhar : kya karun, ghar mein maa-baap bimar hain, bahan jawan hai..
Ladke walon ne 1 ltr khoon dahej mein manga hai...