सेल मतलब

बडी दुविधा होती रही थी जब :

1.बायोलॉजी के टीचर ने पढाया : सेल मतलब 'शरीर की कोशिकाएँ'।

2.फिजिक्स के टीचर ने पढाया : सेल मतलब 'बैटरी',

3.इकोनॉमिक्स के टीचर ने पढाया:   सेल मतलब  'बिक्री',

4.हिस्ट्री के टीचर ने पढाया : सेल मतलब 'जेल',

5.अंग्रेजी के टीचर ने पढाया: सेल मतलब 'मोबाइल',

पढ़ाई ही छोड़ दी भाई साब,  यह सोचकर कि जिस स्कूल में पांच शिक्षक एकमत नहीं है उस स्कूल में पढ़ कर क्या होगा ?

और   
*सच्चा ज्ञान मिला जब पत्नी ने बताया सेल मतलब 'डिस्काउंट' !!* 😆😝

Golu and molu

Golu apni biwi ke sath ja raha tha ki Achanak use Molu mila jisko Police wale ne pakda hua tha..
..
..
Golu: kya hua.. ??
Molu: Maine apni biwi ko maar daala..
Golu: kitni saja hogi..
Molu: 6 hafte..
Itna sunte hi Golu ne police wale ki gun cheen kar apni biwi ko goli maar di..
..
..
Molu: Abe ye kya kiya tune... pehle poori baat to sun leta..
me kah raha tha ki 6 hafte baad mujhe fansi ho jayegi....
:) :)

Doctor and nurse

Hu me DOCTOR jaha pe...
Meri biwi hai NURSE waha pe..
Haiiiii ye kaisa Julm sahna pad raha hai..
Mujhe apni BIWI ko SISTER kahna pad raha hai..!! 

Golu and sooraj

Golu ne ek bar majak majak me vrat rakh liya..

Golu( biwi se): dekho bhagyawan, suraj dooba ki nahi?

Biwi: Nahi

Thodi der bad ...
Golu: dkho suraj dooba ki nhai
Biwi: nahi

Golu: Lagta hai ye suraj mujhe sath lekar hi doobega :P

Patni ki khoobsurati

Patni( Kitchen se): Aji sunte ho..
Pati: Bolo kya hua?

Patni: Lagta hai me ajkal Khoobsurat hoti ja rahi hu..
Pati: Tumhe kaise pata?

Patni: Aajkal na.. rotiyan bhi meri khoobsurati dekhkar jal jati hai.. :)

Golu ki ajib stithi

Golu Singh ki Biwi ko shadi ke 3 mahine bad hi bachcha paida ho gaya..

Golu: Yeh 3 mahine me bachcha kaise ho gaya?

Biwi: Apki shadi ko kitne mahine hue?
Golu: 3

Biwi: Aur meri shadi ko kitne hue?
Golu: 3

Biwi: Aur bachcha kitne mahine me hua?
Golu: 3

Biwi: To total 9 mahine ho gaye na..
Golu: Oye yar, mene to socha hi nhai... Kitna lamba time ho gaya hamari shadi ko :P

Do Dost

Do friend apas me bat kar rahe the .
Pehla Dost: Yar, Jb bhi me bahar se ghar jata hu.. to meri wife mujhe Kiss karne se nahi chookti...

Doosra dost: Tu is dhoke me mat rah ki wo tujhe bahut pyar karti hai... WO to Perfume ya lipstick ki smell check karti hai :)

husband and wife

Wife: Darling jab tum apna chasma utarte ho to bilkul usi handsom ladke ki tarah lagte ho jisse mein 20 sal pehle shadi ki thi..

Husband: Sahi kah rahi ho.. wakai Jab mein chasma utarta hu to tum bhi usi beautiful ladki ki tarah lagti ho jisse meine 20 sal pehle shadi ki thi.. 

Golu and Pravachan

Golu guruji ke pravachna sun kar aya aur ate hi apni biwi ko god mei utha liya ..
Patni boli : kya guru ji ne romance karne ke liye kaha hai...
Golu: Nahi pagli ...unhone kaha hai ki apne dukh khud uthao..

Biwi ne bacha liya

Golu: Yar kal meri bus mein jeb kat gayi.... lekin meri biwi ne mujhe lutne se bacha liya..
Molu: Kyu, kya bhabhi ne jeb katre ko daboch liya..!!
Golu: Are nahi yar.. usne subah hi purse se sare paise nikal liye the.. !!

Neend nahi aati

Neend aati hai to khaab aata hai
khaab mein ek ladki aati hai,
ladki ke piche uska baap aata hai
phir na neend aati hai na khaab aata hai.

killer PJ

Height of Bad Luck...
A boy n grl met last time for their breakup..
Girl's father caught them, n now they r married couple...

Break Up Tip

"Breakup tip"
how 2 create d biggest doubt in ur lover's mind 4 urself!!?
Very Simple..
just suddenly msg dem ..
"I luv u too"..
Game over..

husband wife

What is the next thing a husband has to do after winning arguments with his wife???


Apologize... :)

Shadi ka asar

abhi shaadi ka pehla hi saal tha,
khushi ke maare mera bura haal tha,

khushiyaan kuch yoon umad rahin thi,
ki sambhale nahi sambhal rahi thi,
subah subah madam ka chai le kar aana
thoda sharmate hue hume need se jagana,
wo pyaar bhara hath humare ballon main phirana,
muskurate hue kehna ki darling chai to pi lo,
jaldi se ready ho jao, aap ko office bhi hai jana.
gharwali bhagwan ka roop le kar aayi thi,
dil or dimag par poori tarah chai thi,
saans bhi lete thy to naam usi ka hota tha,
ik pal bhi door jeena dushwar hota tha.
 

5 saal baad…….

subah subah madam ka chai le kar aana,
table par rakh kar jor se chilana,
aaj office jao to munna ko
school chodte hue jana…………..
ek baar phir wohi awaaj ayi,
kya baat hai abhi tak chodi nahi charpai,

agar munna late ho gaya to dekh lena,
munna ki teachers ko phir khud hi sambhaal lena.
na jane gharwali kaisa roop le kar aayi thi,
dil aur dimaag par kali ghata chai thi,
sans bhi lete hai to uni ka khayal hota hai,
har samay jehan main ek hi sawal hota hai,
kya kabhi wo din lot ke ayenge,
hum ek bar phir kuwaaren ban payenge

Bachelors life ka utha lo ab to MAJA!
Warna pata nahi Kab shadi ban jaye ek SAJA !!!

Khane mein kya banaye

Pati- Aaj khaane mei kya banaogi ?
Bivi- Jo tum kaho.

Pati- Daal-chawal bana lo.
Bivi- Abhi kal hi to khaye the....
...
Pati- To Sabji bana lo.
Bivi- Bacche nahi khate.

Pati- Fir keema.
Bivi- Mujhe allergy hai.

Pati- Paranthe ?
Bivi- Raat ko paranthe kaun khata hai ?

Pati- Kadhi ?
Bivi- Dahi nahi hai.

Pati- Fir kya banaogi ?
Bivi- Jo tum kaho....!!!

Diamond Necklace

Wife – Darling, Last night In my Dream , You were Buying a Diamond Necklace for Me…
Husband – Darling tonight Go to Sleep and Enjoy Wearing It.!.

Funny Joke

The Principal of an elementary school went into a kindergarten classroom with all the a pack of Life Savers and told the kids, "I am going to give you all the same flavor and if you can tell me what it is then you will all get a prize."

He gave them all Honey, and didn't tell them what flavor it was.
The kids ate them and no one knew what kind of flavor they were,
so he said, "Here I will give you a clue, your mother might call your father this."

Little Johnny stands on a chair and shouts, "Everyone spit them out, it's asshole flavored!"

Pati ka Pyar

Patni ne Pati se poocha - agar main kho gayi to tum kya karoge?
Pati ne javab diya - main advertise dunga ki jahan bhi raho khush raho :)

Happy Karwa chauth: Letter from Husband to wife

Dear Wife,
your love is about everything for me,
though the ritual is for you to fast
but here too I am not feeling hungry either...

I question myself...
Why only wives are allowed
to observe the fast & show their love..

But dear I too love you a lot and I am thankful
 to God to have such a loving, Caring n Beautiful wife..

I may not say every day...
But I always care for you..
And beneath deep in my heart..

Its only you!!
and Always you!!

Happy Karwa Chauth