Wednesday, March 16, 2011

Mistakes on a resume

Note: Please don't misinterpret my 14 jobs as "job-hopping". I have never quit a job.

Reasons for leaving the last Job:
"Responsibility makes me nervous."
"The company made me a scapegoat - just like my three previous employers."

Speacial Request:
 "Please call me after 5:30 because I am self-employed and my employer does not know I am looking for another job."

"My goal is to be a aerospace scientist. But since I have no training in aerospace, I suppose I should try stock brokerage."

Only GOD can understand us !!!!!!!!



Swarg k dwar pe 3 log khade the....

God : Sirf 1 hi andar ja sakta hai....

1st : Main Brahmin hu, sari umar aapki seva ki hai. Swarg pe mera hak hai.... Bhagwan Kuch Nahi bole

2nd : Main Doctor hu, sari umar logo ki seva ki hai. Swarg pe mera haq hai..... Bhagwan Kuch Nahi bole

3rd : Main sari umar Private Company mein kam kiya hai.... .......

Bhagwan Bole :Bus......... aage kuch mat bol.... Rulaayega kya pagle..? Andar aa ja......... Tere forwarded mails, follow-ups, promotion nahi milne ka wo 6 saal, month end, quarter end, year ends me woh night shifts, data nahi milne se doosra departments se panga, CTC se zaada deductions, raat me ghar jane ka lafda , family ko na time dene ki frustrations, boss se meetings, delivery dates, week ends mein kaam etc etc. mere ko senti kar diya re..aja jaldi andar aja.....

Tuesday, March 15, 2011

Similarity

Teacher: "What is common between JESUS, KRISHNA , RAM, GANDHI and BUDHA?"


Golu: "All are born on government holidays...!!!

Sardar-Bihari

A Bihari waswaiting for his bus at the bus stop. Finally the bus arrives and he gets in.

The bus is fully loaded with sardarjis. One sardarji orders Bihari to tell a joke.

Now, the Bihari thinks he's in big trouble because he knows only sardar jokes! After thinking for some time he decides to substitute all references to 'sardars' in his joke with 'Biharis'.

He starts the jokes with, "Once there was a Bihari..." And suddenly he gets a major blow on his back from one of the sardarjis who shouts, "Kyon be! Sab sardar mar gaye hai kya?"

Detective Job

Three men were applying for the same job as a detective.

One was a Sardarji, one was Jewish, and one was Italian. The chief decided to ask each applicant just one question and base his decision upon that answer.

When the Jewish man arrived for his interview, the chief asked him, "Who killed Jesus Christ?"
The Jewish man answered without hesitation. "The Romans killed him." The chief thanked him and he left.

When the Italian man arrived for his interview, the chief asked the same question. He replied "Jesus was killed by the Jews." Again, the chief thanked the man who then left.

Finally the Sardarji arrived for his interview, he was asked the same question. He thought for a long time, before saying," Could I have some time to think about it?"
The chief said,"OK, but get back to me tomorrow."

When the Sardarji arrived home, his wife asked "How was the interview?”
Sardarji replied, "Great, I got the job, and I'm already investigating a murder.

Wash Basin

Once Golu goes to a hotel and eats heartily.
After eating he goes to wash his hands but starts washing the basin instead.

The manager comes running and asks him, "Prahji, aap kya kar rahe ho?"

To this the man replies, "Oye, tumne hi to idhar board lagaya hai "Wash Basin".


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