Friday, July 30, 2010

Khuda bachaye hume in hasino se


Khuda bachaye hume in hasino se,

Khuda bachaye hume in hasino se,

Lekin in hasino ko kaun bachayega..

hum KAMINO Se  :) Wah wah!!

Thursday, July 29, 2010

Santa


Santa office jane k liye car nikalne jata he to dekhta he...
Ek kutta car k niche so rha tha...

To kutte ko zor se bahar kheecha Aur Bola : "Bahar nikal sale .Bada aaya..
'AUTOMOBILE ENGINEER..'"

Khane mein kya banaye


Pati- Aaj khaane mei kya banaogi ?
Bivi- Jo tum kaho.

Pati- Daal-chawal bana lo.
Bivi- Abhi kal hi to khaye the....
...
Pati- To Sabji bana lo.
Bivi- Bacche nahi khate.

Pati- Fir keema.
Bivi- Mujhe allergy hai.

Pati- Paranthe ?
Bivi- Raat ko paranthe kaun khata hai ?

Pati- Kadhi ?
Bivi- Dahi nahi hai.

Pati- Fir kya banaogi ?
Bivi- Jo tum kaho....!!!

Killer PJ


uska pyar mujhe sata raha hai...
wah
wah...
...uska pyar mujhe sata raha hai...
..
..
abey cigerate chupa tera baap aa raha hai...

Hapy Diwali

Roshan ho deepak sara jag jagmagaye,
liye sath Sita maiyya ko Ram jee hain aaye,
har shahar yu lage mano Ayodhya ho,
aao har dwar har gali har mod pe hum deep jalaye 

Happy Diwali, Happy Dashahara!!

Pyar

Pyar to zindgi ka ek khubsurat lamha hai,
ye sab rishto se albela hai,
jise ye mil jaye wo tanhai me bhi khush hai,
aur jise na mile wo bhid me bhi akela hai

Friendship

Waqt ke panno ko palat kar kuch yaad aata hai,
wo gujra kal jaise Dll chahta hai,
Kabi bitaye the lamhe sath milkar,
aaj un Dosto ko dekhne ko Dil taras jata hai

Friendship

Socha na tha ki kabhi Dosti hogi,
Dil jiske liye ro sake waisi ulfat hogi,
ab jannat ki galiyon ka rasta kyu dekhu....
Jaha tum ho wahi se jannat suru hogi...

Ma se rishta

Maa se rishtaa aisaa banaya jaay,
Jisko nigaaho mein bithayaa jaay,
Rahe uska mera rishtaa kuchch aisa,
Wo agar udas ho to humse bhi muskraya na jae.

Maa tujhe salam

Maa hai mohabbat ka nam,
Maa ko hazaron salam,
Karday fidaa zindgi,

Aae jo bachchon ke kaam!!

Happy Mother's Day

A mother’s work is never done ...
She works from morning till dawn
She spreads her love And always keeps you warm
But only once in a year we say Mother we wish you  

“Happy Mothers Day”

Sardar applied for divorce

Sardar & his wife filed an application for divorce.
Judge asked: How will you divide, you have three children?
Sardar replied to Judge : Ok! We will apply next year.

EiD SMS

Yun Aaine se kab tak Dil behlao ge
Jab koi nahin hoga to Khud ko Tanha paoge,

Choti EID to chalo guzar gayi lekin
Wada karo Bari EID pe zaroor Nahao ge

Apki shan

Chand taron se achi ho apki muskan,
Aeroplne se unchi ho apki udan,
Hume bhi apse apointment leni pade,
Aisi anokhi ho apki shan. :) :)



Happy Birthday!!



Birthday Wishes


Jab Apka janam hua
Baadal fata Adbhoot roshni hui,
Bhagwaan khud sab k saamne prakat hue aur bole -
"Sorry 4 Da Mistake.. Kindly Adjust PLZ"

Birthday Wish

Apko ashirwad mile bado se,
Sahayog mile chhoto se,
Khushiya mile jag se,
Pyar mile sab se,
Yahi dua hai meri Rab se!


Happy Birthday !!

Birthday Wish

Tamnnaon se bhari ho jindgi,
Kwahisho se bhara ho har pal,
Daaman bhi chhota lagne lage,
Itani khushiya de aapko aane wala kal.



Happy Birthday!!  

rishta banaya hai


Rishta banaya hai to nibhayenge,
har pal apko hansayenge,
pata hai apko to fursat nahi yaad karne ki,
hum hi msg karke apne yaad dilayenge.

Discovery on Moon

"Apart from water we have discovered presence of whales and shark also on MOON" -- PAK
"Space shuttle launched by Pak found in Arabian Sea" -- NASA

Wednesday, July 28, 2010

Diamond Necklace

Wife – Darling, Last night In my Dream , You were Buying a Diamond Necklace for Me…
Husband – Darling tonight Go to Sleep and Enjoy Wearing It.!.

You are the NEXT !!

Ek Ladki apni friends se kahti hai:
Jab Bhi mein kisi marriage mein jati hun, sari Old ladies mujhe kehti hain "you are next" !!
But now they have stopped this, since I started saying same tto them @ Funerals. !!

Performance Appraisal


The owner of a company tells his employees:
You all worked very hard this year. The company’s profits has increased dramatically.
As a reward, I ‘ll give everyone a check for Rs 5000.

If you work with the same zeal next year, I’ll sign those checks. :)

Lord's Birth Place

In a train, ticket checker to a saint: Ticket please!
Saint: I don't have.
TT: Where do you want to go?
Saint: Lord Ram's birth place, Ayodhya!
TT: Come, lets go!
Saint: Where?
TT: Lord Krishna'a birth place, Jail

Tuesday, July 27, 2010

Good Morning

Do you know the meaning of morning?
Morning means one More innings given by GOD to
PLAY and WIN what you missed yesterday... So Good Morning!!

Hai re Dahej !!

Machhar ne ek admi ko kata, admi: Din mein bhi kat rahe ho...
Machhar : kya karun, ghar mein maa-baap bimar hain, bahan jawan hai..
Ladke walon ne 1 ltr khoon dahej mein manga hai...

Help him !!!

Ek bar ek Chhota bachha kood kood kar ek ghar ki doorbell bajane ki
koshish kar raha tha but baja nahi pa raha tha..
tab ek buddhe uncle ne aake doorbell baja di..
phir uncle ne poochha : Beta aur kuchh?
Bachcha : han ab bhagoooooo!! :)

Monday, July 26, 2010

Proposing a Girl

Easy way to purpose a girl,

Me : Hi what is your name?

Girl : Ann .

Me : Hey your name seems so small ,
shall I add my name after yours ??

Sunday, July 25, 2010

doctor and patient

Patient to Doctor: Aapne nurse bahut achhi rakhi hui hai,
                            uska haath lagte hi main Ekdum theek ho gaya.
Doctor: Jaanta hu, thappad ki awaaz mujhe bhi sunai di thi... :)

Sunday, July 18, 2010

Santa and swimming pool

santabuilt 2 Swimming Pools. And he left one of them unfilled .. u know why?
When asked him, he said,
"Oye, thats for those who don't know Swimming" :)

Student Teacher

Maths Teacher: Jab mein tumhare jitna bada tha, mere maths mein 100 marks ate the..
Student: Sir, Apko koi achha teacher padhata hoga.. !! :) :)

Monday, July 12, 2010

Indian Flag

Ek sardar Indian Flag lene shop mein gaya tha. 
Shopwale ne usse flag diya. 
Sardar bola: Isme aur colour dikhao!!! 

Mobile bill

Pappu: My mobile bill how much?
Call centre girl: sir, just dial 123 to know current bill status
Pappu: Stupid, not CURRENT BILL my MOBILE BILL.

Santa Professor

Once Santa professor asked a plumber to come to his college.
U know why?
Because he wanted to check from where the question paper is leaking...

doctor and patient

Doctor to Molu patient: You will die within 2 hours. Do you want to see any one before you die?
Molu: Yes. A good doctor.
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